Love this video and…bacon. Check out the little man and his reaction to the first taste of…bacaawnnnn! This video shows the dopamine transfer of a boy’s first taste of pure awesomeness.

Counseling numerous clients right now…their concern?  They don’t do sex. Can’t put together the desire for healthy sexuality.  We call this, Sexual Anorexia and the sufferer a Sexual Anorexic, (SX).

Can’t. Not won’t. Can’t be sexually intimate.

Numerous reasons cause SX.  Let’s start with this. Dopamine transfer. Dopamine is the neurotransmitter that streams through neural pathways.  Just as bacon causes dopamine transfer in reward networks in the brain, dopamine also transfers  in fear networks. This is a Diffusion Tensor image of reward and fear neural pathways in the brain.

Technology now allows us to see both reward and fear architecture in the white matter of the brain. The smell, texture, and pure awesomeness of bacon trigger (cue) powerful reward centers. We remember and love bacon…forever.

Add trauma to sexuality like abuse, abandonment, fear, or pain  then sexual neural pathways form connecting to “terror” rather than pleasure.  Instead of reward pathways forming for sexual intimacy, fear dominates the sexual matrix. Sexuality becomes fear based, disgust responses emerge, and the result? Shame. The SX cannot sustain healthy intimacy, relationship deteriorates. Shame reinforces fear networks. In fact, as the SX becomes more preoccupied with the terror of intimacy, dopamine transfers. It is possible then to become addicted to avoiding sexuality. The SX now pumps dopamine through neural pathways that feel like… reward. The SX can become addicted to avoiding sexuality. Like the boy who will never forget the reward of his first mouthful of bacon, the SX has unknowingly created neural memory to avoid sexuality. The shame of broken relationship without intimacy reinforces the terror of sex. Sexual intimacy becomes the cue for terror.

How do we find hope for SX?

Belief. Join us for part 2. Hope is.