The day of love. Really?  Do you feel the pressure? Fear? Ha.

Let’s look at the origins of V Day and you may see where the angst comes from.

“From Feb. 13 to 15, the Romans celebrated the feast of Lupercalia. The men sacrificed a goat and a dog, then whipped women with the hides of the animals (februa) they had just slain.

The Roman romantics ‘were drunk. They were naked,’ says Noel Lenski, a historian at the University of Colorado at Boulder. Young women would actually line up for the men to hit them, Lenski says. They believed this would make them fertile.

The brutal fete included a matchmaking lottery, in which young men drew the names of women from a jar. The couple would then be, um, coupled up for the duration of the festival — or longer, if the match was right.

The ancient Romans may also be responsible for the name of our modern day of love. Emperor Claudius II executed two men — both named Valentine — on Feb. 14 of different years in the 3rd century A.D.”   http://www.npr.org/2011/02/14/133693152/the-dark-origins-of-valentines-day

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So now you see why red is so important on VDay. Now you also know how online dating started…in Rome. Drawing anonymous names from a jar. Then the hook up.

We live in a culture of love wired with pain, physical and emotional. Where is the richness of love? The honor. The dignity. The longevity of love?

The following video is rated PG-17. There is a scene at the end of two cartoon characters engaging in intercourse under the covers. The message however is powerful. I think you will appreciate it…unless your child or grandchild is watching with you. You may need to explain  to innocent eyes what’s happening before you planned.

She left at 4:30A and they…never…spoke again. What about love, man?

Now, let’s look at the other side of the love boat.Sorry about that retro metaphor.

Millenials love throwbacks.

I do too.

A 1500 BC text states this about love, The man knew his wife and she conceived and bore a son.  The word for knew is yada’, to know spiritually, cognitively, emotionally…it means intimacy.  The word is similar in the Greek language, oida, meaning to  know by seeing experientially.

One of the oldest words for sex in literary history is intimacy. The word sexus did not appear until the 14th century AD in latin meaning the gender distinction between cows.

Sex is intimacy. Love and sex wed the most beautiful of relationship truths. Think wholeness, completion of spirituality, honor, respect, with love.

Here is another iconic video of intimacy and love.

So, let’s pull it all together. Valentines Day is a retro Roman ritual involving sacrificing animals and whipping infertile women  with bloody thongs combined with anonymous sex during a drug and alcohol fueled naked rave. Somewhere somehow we intuit this pain about modern VDay.

The best of love is intimacy. The capacity to see one’s partner, love is wholeness, respectful, loyal, beautiful.

What do you say we rethink and redo this day of love sans whips and rage?