Author: Rev. Dr. Glen B. Maiden PhD, DMin, CSAT, CMAT, CST, LMHC

Glen earned a PhD in Clinical Sexology, a Doctor of Ministry in the Neuroscience of Addiction and Trauma Recovery, Masters in New Testament and Christian Education., B.A. in Bible, Greek and Hebrew, with certifications in Sex Addiction, Financial Disorders, Trauma Treatment, licensed in mental health counseling, pastoral ministry, and Forest Therapy.

Sexual Anorexia: Part One

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Love this video and…bacon. Check out the little man and his reaction to the first taste of…bacaawnnnn! This video shows the dopamine transfer of a boy’s first taste of pure awesomeness.

Counseling numerous clients right now…their concern?  They don’t do sex. Can’t put together the desire for healthy sexuality.  We call this, Sexual Anorexia and the sufferer a Sexual Anorexic, (SX).

Can’t. Not won’t. Can’t be sexually intimate.

Numerous reasons cause SX.  Let’s start with this. Dopamine transfer. Dopamine is the neurotransmitter that streams through neural pathways.  Just as bacon causes dopamine transfer in reward networks in the brain, dopamine also transfers  in fear networks. This is a Diffusion Tensor image of reward and fear neural pathways in the brain.

red:blue diffusion tensor

Technology now allows us to see both reward and fear architecture in the white matter of the brain. The smell, texture, and pure awesomeness of bacon trigger (cue) powerful reward centers. We remember and love bacon…forever.

Add trauma to sexuality like abuse, abandonment, fear, or pain  then sexual neural pathways form connecting to “terror” rather than pleasure.  Instead of reward pathways forming for sexual intimacy, fear dominates the sexual matrix. Sexuality becomes fear based, disgust responses emerge, and the result? Shame. The SX cannot sustain healthy intimacy, relationship deteriorates. Shame reinforces fear networks. In fact, as the SX becomes more preoccupied with the terror of intimacy, dopamine transfers. It is possible then to become addicted to avoiding sexuality. The SX now pumps dopamine through neural pathways that feel like… reward. The SX can become addicted to avoiding sexuality. Like the boy who will never forget the reward of his first mouthful of bacon, the SX has unknowingly created neural memory to avoid sexuality. The shame of broken relationship without intimacy reinforces the terror of sex. Sexual intimacy becomes the cue for terror.

How do we find hope for SX?

Belief. Join us for part 2. Hope is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fear. Can. Change.

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Brain Graphic_1God can change fear. Over 90% of my clients have a high priority for spirituality, God-consciousness. 87% of people in recovery say their higher power is helpful.  Jesus is my higher power. The word “proud” does not describe my faith, I do feel ongoing gratitude for the belief that has changed me for 30 years. The content, object, and power  of faith changes neurology. Fear neural pathways can change through belief. What are your greatest fears? Double click and print these graphics and I will walk with you through a deep process and together we will ask God to change your neurology.  This is new/old tech. God has been in the phobia morphing business for millenia. Now, science has finally caught up. Message me and we will start. Do you need support? I have several online groups to support you. Hope is.

Glog Table diagram (1) (1)

Relationship Recovery Intensive

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Would you have need for a relationship recovery weekend? In one weekend couples can do 6 months worth of therapy without disrupting work or family commitments.
 
What you will receive: Clear understanding of why sexuality has become unhealthy for you, a vision for intimate sexuality,  assessments for sex addiction, post traumatic stress, partner survey, money obsession, a personalized plan for rebuilding relational trust, neurological rewiring,  a rich support network including the top sex addiction therapists in the world, personal care, and if you wish a spiritual community of help.
The most common problems identified by couples are rebuilding trust, learning intimacy, establishing boundaries, developing a healthy sexual relationship, and forgiving. Most couples also report great difficulty in conflict resolution. The factors which appear most helpful to couples in rebuilding and improving their relationship are individual involvement in 12-step meetings and therapy, and joint counseling and attendance at couples’ mutual help and/or therapy groups. Coaddicts typically require over a year to forgive and become willing to trust the addict again. New sexual problems are common in the early recovery period, and tend to improve gradually.   Despite past hurts and significant relational, financial, legal, and health problems relationships can and do recover.
Weekend Intensives allow couples to do the equivalent of 6 months of therapy from Friday night to Sunday afternoon.  Intensives assist clients to begin recovery with maximum anonymity and no disruption to job and family.
 
Equipping the sexually addicted person with the tools he/she needs to develop new neurological wiring to counter what is often a long-standing pattern of destructive addictive behavior. 
 

 

The second focus of Intensives is to lead couples in a process that can ultimately lead to restoration of trust and wholeness in the relationship.
 
Contact North Coast Center for Healthy Sexuality for reservations. 
 
503-440-5532
 
Dr.glenmaiden@gmail.com
 

Healthy Sexuality Summit For Families April 16, 2016 9-noon

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Announcing our first Healthy Sexuality Summit for Families April 16, 2016 at NCFF. In this summit we will look at healthy sexuality for adults, students, and children. Our staff will introduce the work of Jim Burns a talented author who has written age graded titles for children and students. This Summit will end with small group focus groups to talk through the needs of children and parents. I will also give the latest stats on cybersex and our families.

First Annual Healthy Sexuality Workshop in Cannon Beach, Oregon

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Thank you Martin Hospitality for hosting the First Annual Healthy Sexuality Workshop at Haystack Gardens in Cannon Beach. Our workshop was packed!

Thank you Cannon Beach Police Department, Astoria PD, Ocean Lodge staff, North Coast Family Fellowship, Awakenings by the Sea, and Free by the Sea Rehabs for bringing your staff. Ira Krizo brought his students from the CB Culinary Academy. Thank you for the delicious snacks, and Chief Schermerhorn of CB Police Department for the donuts.

This event was a hit!  We examined cybersex statistics,  current technologies of assessment and treatment, and finally…hope.

Stay tuned for next year’s workshop. We will put together a greater vision of healthy sexuality for you and your family.

Keep checking our blog for current statistics, and treatment options. Hope is.

Remedy Savior

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Adele is rockin her new album. Love this song, Remedy. Adele is my best friend, she just doesn’t know it yet. Please confirm friend request, Adele. Please? [Adele] I remember all of the things that I thought I wanted to be So desperate to find a way out of my world And finally breath Right before my eyes I saw my heart it came to life This ain’t easy, it’s not meant to be Every story has its scars But When the pain cuts you deep When the night keeps you from sleeping Just look and you will see That I will be your remedy When the world seems so cruel And your heart makes you feel like a fool I promise you will see That I will be I will be… your remedy. I wonder what King David wanted to be? Was his plan to become a businessman, a father, a musician? A violent world assaulted David. He faced impossible people and impassable politics with faith and an intimate tender love for God. I keep looking for that…thing…that truth which propelled David through the black hole of cruelty and scars. David’s remedy for the pain of a son that hated him, a ruler who conspired his death, a wife that abandoned him, a heart that failed him, was the love of God. What did you want to be? What was your plan? Do you carry scars? Disappointment? Jesus is our remedy. He loves you, friends you with the giving of his own life on the cross. Remedies despair with resurrection and hope. Jesus is as close as your breath, He calls this transcendent truth the Holy Spirit, the breath of God. Confirm his friendship. Breath in his presence. He is your remedy.

Culture of Generosity and Estate Gift Seminar

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Hi friends, Our faith community is experiencing unprecedented financial blessing. I wish to share for gratis the culture the Lord has crafted over the last few years with my colleagues and friends. Over the next three decades 71 trillion dollars will move from the Boomer and Builder generations to their heirs creating the greatest transfer of wealth in human history. Faith communities building relationships with their senior community now will see unprecedented general fund income. At the same time RSI projects that traditional general fund income will decrease over the next 30 years by 70%. This two hour seminar will feature 3 sections: 1)Intimate Steps to a Culture of Generosity; 2)Intimate Steps to a Generous Life; 3) Intimate Steps to Estate Planning. I will show you how to raise funds for your ministry without guilt, shame, or ripping off the general fund. This seminar utilizes evidence based theologically correct Christian fundraising through communication, social media, and estate planning. Contact me on all media venues for more information and availability for you and your staff. We sell nothing, we give generously. Posted by Pastor Glen’s “GLOG” at 5:42 PM 5 comments:

Cybersex/Sexting Seminar

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This week I had the privilege to bring a one hour cybersex/sexting talk to the Seaside High School Principal, Sheila Roley, and her counseling staff. 30% of students sext and transmit child porn to their peers. The possession of child porn is a Class B felony in Oregon. I will be honored to address your staff with the cutting edge evidence based research on cybersex/sexting, porn blocking and tracking software, and a vision of helping our children and grandchildren. Contact me on any media venue: 5034405532 cell, Facebook, dr.glenmaiden@gmail.com.

Hard Core Porn Blocking for Hard Core Users

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When you think about porn blocking there are 2 levels to consider: For children look for filters and blockers. Open DNS is free, I can hook you up to a tech who can talk you through the set up. Open DNS blocks porn at the server. You need to be able to Google search for the correct filter/blocker for your operating system. It’s super important to learn how to search for correct software to protect your family due to the constant change of technology and the creativity of users to get around blocking and filtering. For middle school and high school students I recommend tracking software that can tell you how much porn and sexting a student engages in. This is an important piece for you and your student. They will be exposed to sexting and porn from their friends. The question is not permission to use porn, but the ability to have conversation. Do you have a qualified therapist to assist you? Ongoing conversation with our student culture which has normalized porn and sexting is vital. Talk about it. Open the lines of communication. Give help. Be the adult. Shame will shut down your ability to talk to your child. Be positive, set boundaries,be kind and firm. Below is an excellent article on porn blocking for macs. This is a blog written by an IT expert to block porn. Check it out. http://www.doctoddlove.com/todd-love-blog/how-to-configure-your-mac-for-web-filtering