This piece speaks to the spirituality of compassion.

One of the primary names of God is Compassion.

Jesus was single, celibate, and without abuse scandal. This is why Jesus frames the spirituality I love.

The compassion of Christ has healed the trauma of billions of people for millennia. One piece you will not see in the narrative of Christ is abuse. Why was there not a culture of abuse toward women in Jesus’ leadership as we see in modern Evangelical politics?

Let’s go through the list of current cultures of abuse: My mentor Bill Hybels was forced to retire along with the resignation of his successor pastor and entire Elder board because of mishandled sexual misconduct allegations. Rob Coy, pastor of the largest Chuck Smith Church in North America resigned amid allegations of grooming a child for sex, genital sexual affair, and pornography. 5000 clergy have been identified as sexual predators.  The most recent sexual misconduct disclosure targets Baptist clergy.

When abuse takes place, culture must be addressed. A dominant who has power over submissives manipulates for sexual gratification.  The dom which means (Lord) creates a culture of bondage for the submissive so that she cannot seek safety.  Bill Hybels allegedly seduced staff behind closed doors. The victims did not disclose for years due to the power and popularity of celebrity status.  Rob Coy allegedly groomed a child for sex; “How can a successful man of God with so many Sunday attendees prey on a child?  Impossible, we say.”  A priest committed to celibacy swims with children and fondles them. He succeeds because the parents of the victims assure the children that he is “safe” and he represents God when administering the sacraments. Abuse takes place in a culture of power; the dominant forces himself over the submissive victim.  In fact, may I suggest that the current religious overtones of the dominant submissive relationship between men and women of faith does not come from Scripture but from the pornography industry? The primary teacher of male female boundaries is not the church, it’s the porn culture normalized among Christian leadership.

Jesus served in humility until his voluntary death. He gave His life to be the payment for the violence of mankind. He taught that true leadership serves others, takes its place at the end of the line and allows others to “be first.”  Jesus took on the form of a slave and humbled himself.  He did not fight for position, he surrendered to the power of God.  Women felt safe with him. He lived with humble healthy boundaries for both women, men, and children.

Let’s look at some specifics about the culture of humility Jesus created in the first century.

Leaders are not celebrities in Jesus’ mind but rather servants guiding from the back of the line giving their lives for the people they love.

Specifically, leadership in marriage will look like a husband who sacrifices himself for his wife as Jesus gave himself to the cross of humiliation.

Jesus appointed women to lead and gave them speaking and teaching roles in the church.

Jesus’ chosen celibacy demonstrates his honorable relationship with women.

Jesus died a martyr’s death and his final words were not revenge but care for his mother.

Jesus calls himself the bridegroom, and the church his bride. These images carry healthy sexual overtones and Jesus never exploits the church he loves.

Let’s look at a broader view of the Biblical idea that God does not put women in a place of bondage and abuse.

In Genesis Adam and Eve live in healthy relationship with each other and God. There is no suggestion that the first couple in a state of wholeness are anything other than mutual and consensual. When sin enters, the balance shifts to the dominant and submissive model of relationship.  In a state of defiance and alienation from God a culture of power differential emerges and the abuse narrative in Scripture begins.

Jesus transforms this paradigm. He inspires Paul the Apostle, to state that there are no dominants or submissives in the Church only those who are one in Christ.

Deborah the Judge leads, teaches, and judges men.  Clearly God did not intend for her to be a submissive in a dom culture lording over women.

Mary the mother of Jesus takes a supreme role in the birth of the Messiah. She is given all the honor due one of such status.

The Scripture in 1 Timothy 2 prohibiting women to teach is one of the tragic mistranslations which has abused women for millennia.  Women are not prohibited to teach in the church.

Women held office in the first century church. Phoebe, female, was a Deacon, the masculine term for a church officer.

Time to stop abusing women using the porn industry as a model to force women into positions of submission for the abuse of the perpetrator, yes?

May I suggest some healthy conversation?

What if we follow Jesus rather than the porn addict politics of domination and submission? All are one in Christ.

Jesus redeems the story of abuse by not only his compassion toward women, but his enduring boundaries of honor and respect.

Check out these passages:

Galatians 3:28

²⁸ There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 2: Imitating Christ’s Humility

2 Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ² then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. ³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴ not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

⁵ In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

Matthew 20: A Mother’s Request

²⁰ Then the mother of Zebedee’s sons came to Jesus with her sons and, kneeling down, asked a favor of him.

²¹ “What is it you want?” he asked.

She said, “Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom.”

²² “You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said to them. “Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?”

“We can,” they answered.

²³ Jesus said to them, “You will indeed drink from my cup,but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared by my Father.”

²⁴ When the ten heard about this, they were indignant with the two brothers. ²⁵ Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. ²⁶ Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, ²⁷ and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— ²⁸ just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Ephesians 5

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing^[b] her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body.³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”^[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

1 Timothy 2:11

¹² I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man;^[b] she must be quiet.

The operative word in this passage misguiding generations is the word, “assume authority over a man.”  The Greek word is authentein. It appears only once on the Scriptures and is formed from two Greek words, autos and thanatos, which mean self murdering.  Have you seen the character Thanos in the Marvel series?  This is the root for his name. Thanos means death and embodies a nihilistic narcissism to destroy half of mankind. Paul is not prohibiting women to teach, he is mandating that women not destroy in the process of teaching. Paul then uses the illustration of Eve’s seduction of Adam and how that teaching event went sideways for all mankind. Eve jacked up Adam in a dom sub relationship. Don’t be like Eve. The word quiet means more on the order of kind rather than “keep your mouth shut” kind of silence.

Romans 16: Personal Greetings

16 I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a deacon of the church in Cenchreae.

Colossians 3: Living as Those Made Alive in Christ

3 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. ² Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. ³ For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.⁴ When Christ, who is your^[a] life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

⁵ Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality,impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. ⁶ Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.^[b] 7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. ⁸ But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. ⁹ Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices ¹⁰ and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. ¹¹ Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all,and is in all.

¹² Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ¹³ Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴ And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

¹⁵ Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. ¹⁶ Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. ¹⁷ And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanksto God the Father through him.

Instructions for Christian Households

¹⁸ Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

¹⁹ Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

²⁰ Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

²¹ Fathers,^[c] do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

²² Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.²³ Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, ²⁴ since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. ²⁵ Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism.

1 Corinthians 14

²⁹ Two or three prophets should speak, and the others should weigh carefully what is said. ³⁰ And if a revelation comes to someone who is sitting down, the first speaker should stop. ³¹ For you can all prophesy in turn so that everyone may be instructed and encouraged. ³² The spirits of prophets are subject to the control of prophets.³³ For God is not a God of disorder but of peace—as in all the congregations of the Lord’s people.

³⁴ Women^[f] should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says. ³⁵ If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.^[g]

³⁶ Or did the word of God originate with you? Or are you the only people it has reached? ³⁷ If anyone thinks they are a prophet or otherwise gifted by the Spirit, let them acknowledge that what I am writing to you is the Lord’s command. ³⁸ But if anyone ignores this, they will themselves be ignored.^[h]

³⁹ Therefore, my brothers and sisters, be eager to prophesy, and do not forbid speaking in tongues. ⁴⁰ But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way.

1 Corinthians 11

11 ¹ Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.

On Covering the Head in Worship

² I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the traditions just as I passed them on to you. ³ But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man,^[a] and the head of Christ is God. ⁴ Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head. ⁵ But every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head—it is the same as having her head shaved.

The context of this passage is Paul correcting the Corinthians for disorderly worship in their house churches. Men sat at the front of the room, women sat in the back.  Paul addresses the entire congregation when he gives them directions about orderly address in the congregation. Both men and women are praying and prophesying in the worship gathering. The context and flow indicate all were participating, speaking in tongues, praying, and prophesying. Why then, the parenthetical about women and silence?  One Sunday morning I was preaching in the inner city war zone church. The young moms sat in the back of the auditorium near the nursery. The purpose for their seating location was easy exit in the event of an infant meltdown or diaper blowout. During the teaching, I heard a great furor in the back row. The young moms were passing their babies down the row, laughing, and carrying on. Apparently one of the children was being super cute. I could not help but think of Paul…”Ladies, please…calm down…keep down the noise…can you finish this riotous conversation during a coffee or lunch?”

God has always honored and encouraged gifted leadership in women. He does today.

Jesus on Fantasy Sex with Current Neuroscience

Jesus spoke about the most beautiful places of our lives.  At the core of his  teachings lies a theme of healthy sexuality.  Jesus, single and celibate, lived without sex scandal in the first century. His immediate twelve disciples whom he commissioned to launch the early community of Christians have no history of sexual misconduct.  History reveals no allegations, no redacted special counsel reports, no impeachments, no church discipline or political drama for their sexual behaviors.  Healthy sexuality formed a beautiful part of the Gospel narrative of the first century.

As I look back at thirty years of pastoring Evangelical churches, I thoroughly enjoyed the life change of the Christian faith.  Having baptized hundreds of people for Christ, I would do that all over again.  One of the frequent and painful stories however forms around sexual misconduct among church leadership.  In my twenties Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggert, famed television evangelists, headlined national media for the authority rape of a subordinate, cover up with payoff, and ongoing addiction to prostitutes.  The ripple effect of their abuses generated reports of nationwide decrease in church giving. In the 90’s sexual misconduct headlines turned toward Cathoiic Priests and the rape of parish children.  5000 priests have been identified for sexual misconduct. Hundreds of Baptist ministers recently have been accused of unhealthy sexuality and misconduct against their congregations. In 2014 Pastor Rob Coy who led the largest Chuck Smith Calvary Church in North America resigned for allegations of child sexual assault, pornography and an affair.  Recently my mentor Bill Hybels of Willow Creek Community Church in Chicago was forced to retire amidst a maelstrom of sexual misconduct allegations. An independent group investigated the charges. They concluded credible evidence existed to discipline the celebrity pastor for sexual misconduct.  He pastored one of the largest churches in America. I looked to him for guidance for years.

The sexual misconduct events in my own ministry support the global story.  A single woman stood up in a testimony meeting of avowed holiness practitioners and declared publicly she was having intercourse with one of their pastors. In that same era a renowned pastor preaching abstinence and sexual purity was convicted of raping a preadolescent girl for years.  An Elder had a lifetime addiction to prostitutes. His pimp attempted to extort the Elder by “outing him” in the community. A staff member publicly reported a  lifetime addiction to porn and rage. He reported his addiction began with lingerie ads in catalogs.  When he used porn, he raged at staff and church folk. I project he watched a great amount of porn due to his chronic violent outbreaks of violence.  Numerous Elders and their spouses reported to me problematic use of porn. One Elder’s wife stated to me, “I can tell when he uses porn, he turns his rage at me.” These are the stories in my personal pastoral ministry over 30 years.

While waiting for my mentors to repent and make amends for sexual misconduct allegations, I wish to pause and apologize to the thousands of people I have led over the years. Although I performed the obligatory “don’t have sex outside of marriage messages” I never cast a vision for healthy sexuality for people of faith. This is a massive failure on my part.  Part of me would like to blame my mentors who committed acts of sexual misconduct, but a valid amends requires personal responsibility rather than finger pointing.  I was wrong not to offer healthy sexuality conversations to the children of the church. I was misguided in my “Just say, no, to fornication” Evangelical morality. I was wrong. I am so sorry.

The repentance and passion during this  season of my life is to vision cast the beauty and balance of healthy sexuality in the faith story I love.  The Good Report of Jesus is that God loves broken people, His compassion drives His forgiveness, and He cleanses addictive shame.  At that point of belief God’s ongoing Spirit presence of comfort and hope connects and transforms broken people into His compassionate character.  The image of God reflects healthy sexuality for both single people of faith and married.

Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount beginning in Matthew 5 gives meaning to what life is like trusting in and loving God in Christ. At the center of this conversation is a healthy sexuality exhortation to encourage people like you and me. Jesus speaks of fantasy sex. Let’s visit this portion of the sermon. I have included  the complete text of the Sermon Message on relationship wholeness in the notes to honor your time.

Adultery

Matthew 5:27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

Jesus speaks of maturity in this opening piece. He touches physical violence, then inner resentment with character assassination followed immediately about rage filled sexual fantasy. He climaxes the narrative with a statement on maturity.   Notice verse 48. “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” The word Jesus uses is maturity, complete, whole. This teaching piece speaks of healthy intimate relationships as a follower of Christ by laying  the foundation for relationship success.  A mature person in relationship with a partner has the inner strength of character to honor Godly boundaries by attending to shame, anger, amends, sexual fantasy, marital integrity, truth telling, resentment/retaliation, and loving one’s enemies.  What if these points run in one vein?  What if these are not disjointed thoughts but in fact form the base of relationship wholeness? Is Jesus not speaking about relationship maturity?

At the center of this  conversation is angry fantasy sex.  Why?  I wonder if it is not because of the power of rage and fantasy?  Let’s examine the Biblical text to discover the fairest interpretation we can, and then examine the neuroscience of fantasy.

The word for lust Jesus uses means eroticized rage.  The word is not simply feeling sexual feelings, the word carries the weight of violence. The root word for lust always means wrath in the New Testament.  Please see the notes for the full explanation.

Research on the fantasies of women during intercourse shows that over 60% of women in the study had fantasies involving violent sex and eroticized rage.  Do you see the connection between fantasy sex and rage? Please forgive the graphic nature of this data.

“The team of researchers lead by Dr Jenny Bivona, based at the University of North Texas found that overall, 62% of participants reported having a rape fantasy of some type.Of the women who reported having the most common rape fantasy, ‘being overpowered or forced by a man to surrender sexually against my will,’ 40% had it at least once a month and 20% had it at least once a week. The authors conclude these results indicate rape fantasies play a significant role in the sexual fantasy lives of many women.”

The word lust in Jesus’s sermon in Matthew 5  connects clearly to the passion of fantasy sex carrying the weight of anger and rage.

50% of women by the time they are 18 in the U.S have been sexually assaulted.(8) The alarming statistics on sexual violence against women cut broadly across all walks of life. A 2014 study,(9) for example, found that 20% of female scientists were victims of sexual assault in the workplace.  However, the anonymity and chaos of large crowds increase the risk of sexual assault on women, even on a crowded subway, but a mass celebration can inflame extreme mob behavior victimizing women.https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-new-brain/201601/the-explosive-mix-sex-and-violence

If I fantasize about a body part like an arm, the image triggers arm neuro architecture in the brain.  This is the beginning of the arm behaving differently.  The fantasy of an arm, impacts the neurology of the arm turning on specific brain circuits. These circuits create arm movement. The change in brain circuitry together with the new arm movement then mutates the DNA molecules of the arm. The arm is now different in the way it acts because the brain circuitry has been altered by the fantasy.  Fantasy has the power to change molecular DNA.

“DNA is a dynamic and adaptable molecule. As such, the nucleotide sequences found within it are subject to change as the result of a phenomenon called mutation. Depending on how a particular mutation modifies an organism’s genetic makeup, it can prove harmless, helpful, or even hurtful.” https://www.nature.com/scitable/topicpage/dna-is-constantly-changing-through-the-process-6524898

A Christian college graduate reported he had problematic sexuality.  He became addicted to the fantasy of porn in a process called rapid onset addiction. He viewed and fantasized to porn and the images then react with sexual neuro pathways in the brain which then impact sex organs. Sexual neuro pathways are now changed, sexual function changes, and ultimately DNA alters.  One researcher calls this “experience taking.” He entered into the fantasy and became the story.  In a short period of time the fantasy of porn changed the structure of his brain and an addict system wired. The user cannot stop fantasy porn without serious withdrawal symptoms similar to arousal drugs like cocaine.  He is now addicted to fantasy with porn. His drive for porn and its fantasy replaces his need for intimacy with his wife. 

His partner discovered the porn on his computer and felt traumatized that his allegiance was for other women rather than herself.  She confronted her husband but the fantasy porn continued. She raged out at his infidelity by having a sexual affair with another man.  The husband and wife reconciled. In the light of the affair and boundaries set by his wife, he continued to use fantasy porn and now they are separated. He does not have the power to stop using fantasy porn even under the threat of losing his marriage.  So, did the fantasy not change the structure of his brain and the ability to have a healthy mature relationship? Did not the fantasy become his reality? Or on another level, did his fantasy not change the reality of his relationship with his wife? Was not this  story embedded with not only lust, but anger and rage?

“Our work shows that what we imagine in our ‘mind’s eye’ can lead to changes in perception across our sensory systems, changing how we perceive real information from the world around us in the future.”https://www.newsweek.com/ventriloquist-illusion-imagining-object-can- change-how-we-experience-sound-884810

“The researchers found that reading either the idiomatic or the literal sentences that had to do with the arm activated the motor and premotor cortex concerned with the arm, and reading the idiomatic and literal sentences that had to do with the leg activated the parts of the motor and premotor cortex concerned with the leg. Comprehension of the idioms, then, appears to involve a mental-neurological version of the actions indicated by the idiom. Boulenger et al. argue that this shows that figurative abstract language can be grounded in concrete sensory-motor information and its specific brain circuits.” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-psychology-fiction/ 201204/the-imagined-and-the-real

The partner of the fantasy porn user reported to me that she pursued the affair because her paramour made her feel, “truly beautiful and desirable” as opposed to her husband who found gratification and intimacy in porn fantasies rather than his partner.

I had another client whose marriage was “done”. He had a decade old addiction to porn and fantasy plus “staring” at other women. When he and his wife were in public, he became entranced by other women, staring at them. His wife reported that he often followed the women for whom he fantasied around grocery stores, or in a transcendent state tracked waitresses walking away from their table…for years. When she discovered that his fantasies expanded to porn stars, she was through with the marriage.

Enter shame as a motive for fantasy porn.  The porn addict husband came to me in desperation.  The treatment for his fantasy porn use was the thin red line separating him from losing a thirty year marriage. As we examined his narrative as a child, he reported that his mother was distant and cold. She presented an aloofness unable to care for him. On one occasion she inadvertently exposed herself. The trauma of the abandonment of his mother, and the exposure wired together in his brain. After the exposure, he found himself addicted to catalogue lingerie ads.  Post puberty he added drugs and prostitutes to his sexual architecture. This type of addiction differs from rapid onset addiction. This client felt traumatized by abandonment from his mother with a baseline of shame, never feeling good enough.  His fantasy “staring” behaviors sought to connect with the caretaker he needed as a boy and relieve his shame.  In his fantasies he found acceptance from the porn stars.  The staring at real women in public felt like they might become a possible caregiver.  Do you see once again that the fantasy altered the reality of his intimate relationship with his wife?   In treatment we worked on the shame based thinking, wrote a letter to his mother to deactivate resentment neuro pathways,  built a spirituality of compassion and love, and finally made amends with his wife. A few months later I performed a renewal marriage ceremony for them on the beach.

“In experience taking, although in a sense we remain ourselves, we can also become the character about whom we read: the story-character’s thoughts and feelings become our own. We might think that we have just one life to lead, but fiction enables us to lead many lives, and to experience being many kinds of person. “ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-psychology-fiction/201208/entering- anothers-experience

Fantasy changes brain structure, muscle movement, molecular DNA, and can create an altered reality more important than relationship intimacy.

“The brain sometimes creates something that psychologists call the ventriloquist illusion. As the name suggests, this is the effect harnessed by a ventriloquist and their dummy. It occurs when we see an object and hear a sound from a different source but the brain wrongly understands it as coming from the visual stimulus.  And if we experience this pairing repeatedly the illusion will persist as an aftereffect, even when the visual stimulus is gone and we only hear the sound.

The sensory information we imagine is often treated by the brain in the same way as information streaming into us from the outside world,” explained researcher Christopher C. Berger of the California Institute of Technology.”

https://www.newsweek.com/ventriloquist-illusion-imagining-object-can- change-how-we-experience-sound-884810

Our DNA is not determined. Molecular DNA changes.  We can impact that change for healthy or unhealthy traits.  DNA, the blueprint of who we are can be changed by fantasy.  This change then impacts the reality of not only ourselves, but our children and children’s children.

Jesus reflects the image of God’s character in the Sermon on the Mount.  There seems to be nothing flippant or legalistic. The words move toward healing relationships and specifically sexuality.

So let’s look at building a life based on reality rather than fantasy.  First, one must understand how fantasy operates in neural architecture. Fantasy  neural pathways receive their energy from shame.  What is the shame underneath the fantasy?  Can you identify it?  Can you speak to your therapist or support group about the source of the shame? Diminish the shame, the fantasy weakens.  Increase shame, fantasies escalate.  Second, replace the fantasy or porn with a healthy relationship. This need not be a genital sexual relationship. Fantasy is less about sex and more about shame.  You can choose a therapist, a safe friend, or a group.  Give your brain ninety days to rewire.  A Yale University study recently proved that the brain can rewire addiction neural pathways in three months. (Please see the  article on Neuroplasticity Citations in the notes.) Can you abstain for ninety days?  Turn in your electronics, surrender your objects of fantasy.  Porn blocking software can help but is not the final answer.  Thirdly, When you feel the  urge to fantasize, use the bounce technique. Brain chemicals transferring in the fantasy neural pathway take approximately three seconds to engage the circuitry.  Bounce your eyes away from the object of fantasy and do a long three count. Fourth, develop your spirituality by writing out your prayers. Talk to God about your fantasies with underlying shame…use code please. Write nothing legible you don’t want to see in court.  The act of writing your emotion connects the language side of the brain with the relationship region  of the brain. Writing and praying rewire the brain in powerful ways. Does anger or rage attach to your fantasies?  Make amends without harm to anyone. Forgiveness with compassion lies at the core of our faith story.  Research has shown that prayer helps alcoholics drink less. Also, prayer can help the urge of fantasy and anger neural pathways. Finally, build a spiritual community of rich friendships who have the ability to replace fantasy and rage with reality.  Fill the fantasy void with people who love you and support you.

Jesus is smart and he gets us.  He understands that at the core of broken relationships lies shame. So, in the Sermon on the Mount Jesus lays out what healthy relationships look like. Mature healthy relationships among people of faith attend to shame, anger, amends, marital integrity, truth telling, resentment/retaliation, and loving the least likely. At the center of this encouragement Jesus, single and celibate without sex scandal attends to eroticized rage of Fantasy Sex. This is why I am a Christian. The integrity and beauty of the words and way of Christ still move me. And to my mentors the world waits for your apology… compassion will attend to words of amends.

Dr. Glen is a pastor of over thirty years. He has a private faith based therapy practice in Gearhart, Oregon. Glen earned a doctorate studying the Theology and Neuroscience of Addiction Recovery, holds certifications in Sex Addiction Therapy, Financial Disorders, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Treatment, and a license for mental health.  Dr. Glen is currently in PhD studies for Clinical Sexology, as a way to redeem lost years and reconcile people of faith with healthy sexuality. He has been married for 38 years to the same amazing woman. Glen enjoys saying, “She still likes me… most of the time.”  He has three adult children whom he loves and admires, and four completely perfect grandchildren.

Notes:

The Fulfillment of the Law

Matthew 5:17 “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. 18 For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. 19 Therefore anyone who sets aside one of the least of these commands and teaches others accordingly will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. 20 For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.

Murder

21 “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder,[a] and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister[b][c] will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’[d] is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.

23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

25 “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. 26 Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.

Adultery

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’[e] 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

Divorce

31 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’[f] 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Oaths

33 “Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not break your oath, but fulfill to the Lord the vows you have made.’ 34 But I tell you, do not swear an oath at all: either by heaven, for it is God’s throne; 35 or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. 36 And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. 37 All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.[g]

Eye for Eye

38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’[h] 39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. 40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. 41 If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

Love for Enemies

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[i] and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Jesus uses the Greek word epithumeo for the English term lust or fantasy sex.  Lust in English has a different meaning than the Greek. Lust in English usage means enthusiastic desire. When connected to sex it means unhealthy, uncontrolled, and even lecherous sexual behavior.  In Greek and Hebrew the word lust has a different emphasis of anger and rage.

Let’s unpack epithumeo from its roots.  Epi is a preposition meaning on or upon.  Epi can give a heightened sense of emphasis or passion to a word.  Thumeo is the verb stemming from the classic Greek noun thumos.  Thumos derives from the ancient word to sacrifice, thuo.  The Greek verb thuo is similar to the Greek noun for God, theo.  Thuo literally means a violent movement of air, water, ground, animals or people.  Thumos is a vital life force moving, flowing, changing the elements of life. It can mean to billow as in the smoke of a sacrifice.  Sacrifices change the relationship between people and their gods by appeasing the deities.  Thumos therefore means in its ancient usage a passionate desire like rage.  Plato and Thucydides used the word in the sense of spirit, anger, or rage.  In the Septuagint, the Greek translation of the Hebrew Bible, the word is frequently used for anger.  (Kittel V. 3, p. 167)

In the New Testament the word thumos always means wrath.  Thumos as wrath is often connected to the word for rage, orge.  Epithumeo in the New Testament means an “anxious self seeking” with undertones of  sexuality and rage. In therapist language we call this eroticized rage.   (Kittle V3, p. 171).

The uses of epithumeo in the New Testament are divided into two groups. Intense desire for sex and passionate desire for godliness.  Six references relate to unhealthy sexuality and eight citations connect to other passions. Please see the word useage analysis

But we’re finding out that our DNA isn’t always set in stone. Now, a team of researchers from Northwestern University led by anthropology professor Thom McDade have shown that DNA can also be modified by your environment during childhood. What’s more, the authors conclude in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, those modifications can affect how or when you develop certain illnesses during adulthood.Their investigation followed more than 500 children in the Philippines and found that certain childhood situations can create modifications in genes associated with inflammation, which affects how prone we are to suffer from certain illnesses. Specifically, these factors included socioeconomic status, the prolonged absence of a parent, the duration of breastfeeding, birth during the dry season, and exposure to microbes in infancy.

Read more: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/your-childhood-environment-can-permanently-change-DNA-180964869/#0PWp7HqUh5GAAGJ1.99

Give the gift of Smithsonian magazine for only $12! http://bit.ly/1cGUiGv

Follow us: @SmithsonianMag on Twitter

lust

noun

intense sexual desire or appetite.

uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite; lecherousness.

a passionate or overmastering desire or craving (usually followed by for ):

a lust for power.

ardent enthusiasm; zest; relish:

an enviable lust for life.

SEE MORE

verb (used without object)

to have intense sexual desire.

to have a yearning or desire; have a strong or excessive craving (often followed by for or after ).

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/lust

Citations:

Women Fantasy During Intercourse

https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1974-32460-001

Sexual Fantasies

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/slightly-blighty/201508/womens-sexual-fantasies-the-latest-scientific-research

Jesus uses the Greek word epithumeo for lust. Lust in English has a different meaning than the Greek. Lust in English usage means enthusiastic desire. When connected to sex it connects unhealthy, uncontrolled, and even lecherous sexual behavior.  In Greek and Hebrew the word lust has a different emphasis of anger and rage.

Epi is a preposition meaning on or upon.  Epi can give a heightened sense of emphasis or passion to a word.  Thumew is the verb stemming from the noun thumos.  Thumos derives from the ancient word to sacrifice, thuo.  The Greek verb thuo is similar to the Greek noun for God, theo.  Thuo literally means a violent movement of air, water, ground, animals or people.  Thumos is a vital life force moving, flowing, changing. It can mean to billow as in the smoke of a sacrifice.  Sacrifices change the relationship between people and their gods by appeasing the deities.  Thumos therefore means in its ancient usage a passionate desire like rage.  Plato and Thucydides used the word in the sense of spirit, anger, or rage.  In the Septuagint, the Greek translation of the Hebrew Bible, the word is frequently used for anger.  (Kittel V. 3, p. 167)

In the New Testament the word thumos always means wrath.  Thumos as wrath is often connected to the word for rage, orge.  Epithumeo in the New Testament means an “anxious self seeking” with undertones of  sexuality and rage. (Kittle V3, p. 171).

Interesting to note that the preceding teaching piece  in Matthew 5 focuses on rage in relationships.  The following statement on divorce is a metaphor for the death of covenant and its rage. Can you see the connections? Rage in relationships, rage in fantasy sex, and the pain and rage of divorce.

The uses of epithumeo in the New Testament are divided into two groups. Intense desire for sex and passionate desire for godliness or sin. Six references relate to unhealthy sexuality and 8 citations connect to a passion for Godliness or a drive for life and death.

Unhealthy Sexuality or Pleasure- 6 times

Godliness-4 times

Drive for Life or Death-4

Matt. 5: 28 Anyone who mentally sees a woman for the purpose of having sex with her….

13:17 Many prophets and righteous men passionately desired to view and mentally see….

Luke 15:16 He passionately hungered for the pods….

16:21 He passionately hungered for the scraps of food….

17:22 The days will come when you will be passionate to see one of the days of the son of man….

Acts 20:33 I have not passionately desired silver, gold, or clothing.

Romans 7:7 Except the law says, “Do not covet”. This most likely refers to coveting a neighbor’s wife for sex.

13:9 You shall not commit adultery, you shall not kill, you shall not steal,  you shall not covet….

1 Corinthians 10:6 So that we not be passionately desirous of evil….

Galatians 5:17 The flesh lusts against the spirit….

1 Timothy 3:1 If someone is passionate about the office of an elder, he desires an excellent thing….

Hebrews 6:11 We have passionate desire for each of you to show haste for the hope….

James 4;2 pleasures…you passionately desire…

Revelation 9:6  They will passionately desire to die, but death will escape them.

The word epithumeo in Jesus’s sermon in Matthew 5  connects clearly to the passion of fantasy sex carrying the weight of anger and rage.

lust

noun

intense sexual desire or appetite.

uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite; lecherousness.

a passionate or overmastering desire or craving (usually followed by for ):

a lust for power.

ardent enthusiasm; zest; relish:

an enviable lust for life.

SEE MORE

verb (used without object)

to have intense sexual desire.

to have a yearning or desire; have a strong or excessive craving (often followed by for or after ).

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/lust

Matt. 5: 28 Anyone who mentally sees a woman for the purpose of having sex with her….

13:17 Many prophets and righteous men passionately desired to view and mentally see….

Luke 15:16 He passionately hungered for the pods….

16:21 He passionately hungered for the scraps of food….

17:22 The days will come when you will be passionate to see one of the days of the son of man….

Acts 20:33 I have not passionately desired silver, gold, or clothing.

Romans 7:7 Except the law says, “Do not covet”. This most likely refers to coveting a neighbor’s wife for sex.

13:9 You shall not commit adultery, you shall not kill, you shall not steal,  you shall not covet….

1 Corinthians 10:6 So that we not be passionately desirous of evil….

Galatians 5:17 The flesh lusts against the spirit….

1 Timothy 3:1 If someone is passionate about the office of an elder, he desires an excellent thing….

Hebrews 6:11 We have passionate desire for each of you to show haste for the hope….

James 4;2 pleasures…you passionately desire…

Revelation 9:6  They will passionately desire to die, but death will escape them.

“DNA is a dynamic and adaptable molecule. As such, the nucleotide sequences found within it are subject to change as the result of a phenomenon called mutation. Depending on how a particular mutation modifies an organism’s genetic makeup, it can prove harmless, helpful, or even hurtful. Sometimes, a mutation may even cause dramatic changes in the physiology of an affected organism. Of course, in order to better understand the varying effects of mutations, it is first necessary to understand what mutations are and how they occur.” https://www.nature.com/scitable/topicpage/dna-is-constantly-changing-through-the-process-6524898

Recently, Rebecca Wells-Jopling and I (2012) proposed that metonymy is especially important in fiction because it invites an intimacy of the reader with the writer, or of the reader with a literary character, or of the reader with a book. A telling example that Rebecca had noticed was an incident in Virginia Woolf’s 1927 novel To the lighthouse. In the book, two characters, Minta and Paul were almost engaged. As they were sitting on a beach another character, Nancy, saw them there and thought they were kissing. Then—juxtaposed in the story—Minta discovers that she has lost her brooch. It had belonged to her grandmother. She searches everywhere on the beach, where she and Paul had been, and she is desperate to find it. So the scene of two people kissing on a beach is juxtaposed with the lost brooch. A reader reading thoughtfully, as Rebecca had been (though when I had read the book I had not noticed this) might think: “Why this association?” This question prompted Rebecca to ask what else might have been lost on the beach that afternoon. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-psychology-fiction/201301/metaphor-and-metonymy

Neuroplasticity Citations-https://glenmaiden.com/?s=+neuroplasticity+citations&submit=

(Sarah Bond, my great great grandmother. She was a Native American woman of the plains states.  Because of her I have life,  This work is dedicated to her. My sobriety honors her Warrior Spirit.)

The Warrior Spirit is one piece of the image of God. Restoring the Warrior is central to Native American recovery. This article examines God the Warrior and the factors that contributed to the suppression of the Warrior Spirit among Native Americans.

If you have a Christian heritage, the Bible affirms that the Creator God is Warrior.

Exodus 15:3

“The LORD is a warrior; The LORD is His name.

Isaiah 42:13

The LORD will go forth like a warrior, He will arouse His zeal like a man of war He will utter a shout, yes, He will raise a war cry He will prevail against His enemies.

Native belief in the Creator Warrior is similar to Christianity.

When Native Americans were demilitarized, forced onto reservations, and deprogrammed in boarding schools,  the Warrior Spirit was suppressed.  The opportunity to express the Creator’s Image through the Warrior Spirit reawakened during world conflicts.  Native Americans joined the United States military in greater percentage than non Native Americans. The time is now to awaken the Warrior Spirit for our sobriety.

The pursuit of the Warrior Spirit is the journey of conscious awareness. The bravery, strength, compassion for comrades, tribe, and country overcame the fear of battle and produced some of the greatest heroes in human history.

Your sobriety is heroic.  You are reawakening the Warrior Spirit for our sobriety.

The Suppression of the Warrior Spirit 

From the 1600s European Catholic and Protestant denominations sent missionaries to convert the tribes to Christianity. Some of these conversions occurred through government and Christian church cooperative efforts that forcibly removed Native American children from their families into a Christian/state government-operated system of American Indian boarding schools (aka The Residential Schools) where Native children were taught European Christian beliefs, the values of mainstream white culture, and the English language. This forcible conversion and suppression of Indigenous languages and cultures continued through the 1970s.

As part of the US government’s suppression of traditional Indigenous religions, most ceremonial ways were banned for over 80 years by a series of US Federal laws that banned traditional sweat lodge and sun dance ceremonies, among others.[4] This government persecution and prosecution continued until 1978 with the passage of the American Indian Religious Freedom Act (AIRFA).[5] wikipedia

“Our nation was born in genocide when it embraced the doctrine that the original American, the Indian, was an inferior race. Even before there were large numbers of Negroes on our shore, the scar of racial hatred had already disfigured colonial society. From the sixteenth century forward, blood flowed in battles over racial supremacy. We are perhaps the only nation which tried as a matter of national policy to wipe out its indigenous population. Moreover, we elevated that tragic experience into a noble crusade. Indeed, even today we have not permitted ourselves to reject or feel remorse for this shameful episode. Our literature, our films, our drama, our folklore all exalt it. Our children are still taught to respect the violence which reduced a red-skinned people of an earlier culture into a few fragmented groups herded into impoverished reservations.” Wikipedia

― Martin Luther King Jr.

The Carlisle Indian Industrial School, founded by the US Army officer Richard Henry Pratt in 1879 at a former military installation, became a model for others established by the Bureau of Indian Affairs (BIA). Pratt said in a speech in 1892, “A great general has said that the only good Indian is a dead one. In a sense, I agree with the sentiment, but only in this: that all the Indian there is in the race should be dead. Kill the Indian in him and save the man.”[13] Pratt professed “assimilation through total immersion.”[13]

As the model of boarding schools was adopted more widely by the US government, many Native American children were separated from their families and tribes when they were sent or sometimes taken to boarding schools far from their home reservations. These schools ranged from those similar to the federal Carlisle Indian Industrial School, which became a model for BIA-run schools; to the many schools sponsored by religious denominations.

In that period, when students arrived at the boarding schools, their lives usually altered dramatically. They were given short haircuts (a source of shame for boys of many tribes), uniforms, and English names; sometimes these were based on their own, other times they were assigned at random, and sometimes children chose new names. They were not allowed to speak their own languages, even between each other, and they were expected to attend church services and encouraged to convert to Christianity. Discipline was stiff in many schools (as it was in families and other areas of society), and it often included chores and punishments.[14]

The following is a quote from Anna Moore regarding the Phoenix Indian School:

“If we were not finished [scrubbing the dining room floors] when the 8 a.m. whistle sounded, the dining room matron would go around strapping us while we were still on our hands and knees.”[16]

The 1928 Meriam Report noted that infectious disease was often widespread at the schools due to insufficient funding for meals providing good nutrition, overcrowding, poor sanitary conditions (an element shared by many towns in the early 20th century) and students weakened by overwork. The report said that death rates for Native American students were six and a half times higher than for other ethnic groups.[16]wikipedia

Following is a list of boarding schools designed to remove the Warrior culture from Native children.

•Shawnee Boarding School, near Shawnee, Indian Territory, open 1876[95]–1918[96]

•Shawnee Boarding School, Shawnee, Oklahoma open 1923–61[25]

•Sherman Indian High School, Riverside, California[42]

•Shiprock Boarding School, Shiprock, New Mexico[41]

•Southwestern Indian Polytechnic Institute, Albuquerque, New Mexico[41]

•Spencer Academy (sometimes referred to as the National School of the Choctaw Nation),[97] near Doaksville, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory open 1842–1900[98]

•Springfield Indian School, Springfield, South Dakota[41]

•Stewart Indian School, Carson City, Nevada[41]

•Sulphur Springs Indian School, Pontotoc County, Chickasaw Nation, Indian Territory[99] open 1896–98[25]

•Theodore Roosevelt Indian Boarding School, founded in 1923 in buildings of the U.S. Army’s closed Fort Apache, Arizona, as of 2016 still in operation as a tribal school[100]

•Thomas Indian School, near Irving, New York

•Tomah Indian School, Wisconsin[41]

•Tullahassee Mission School, Tullahassee, Creek Nation, Indian Territory opened 1850 burned 1880[101]

•Tullahassee Manual Labor School, Tullahassee, Creek Nation, Indian Territory open 1883–1914 for Creek Freedmen[101]

•Tushka Lusa Institute (later called Tuska Lusa or Tushkaloosa Academy),[77] near Talihina, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory opened 1892 for Choctaw Freedmen[102]

•Tuskahoma Female Academy, Lyceum, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory open 1892–1925[103]

•Wahpeton Indian School, Wahpeton, North Dakota, 1904–93. In 1993 its name was changed to Circle of Nations School and came under tribal control. Currently open.

•Wapanucka Academy (also sometimes called Allen Academy), near Bromide, Chickasaw Nation, Indian Territory Open 1851–1911 by the Presbyterian Church.[104]

•Wealaka Mission School Wealaka, Indian Territory open 1882–1907[105]

•Wewoka Mission School, (also known as Ramsey Mission School)[106] near Wewoka, Seminole Nation, Indian Territory Open 1868[107]–80[108] by the Presbyterian Mission Board.[80]

•Wheelock Academy, Millerton, Oklahoma[27] closed 1955

•White’s Manual Labor Institute, Wabash, Indiana Open 1870[109]–95 and operated by the Quakers[110]

•White’s Manual Labor Institute, West Branch, Iowa,[111] open 1881–87[112]

•Wetumka Boarding School, Wetumka, Creek Nation, Indian Territory Levering Manual Labor School transferred from the Baptists to the Muscogee (Creek) Nation in 1891 and they changed the name to the Wetumka Boarding School. Operated until 1910.[74]

•Wittenberg Indian School, Wittenberg, Wisconsin[41]

•Yellow Springs School, Pontotoc County, Chickasaw Nation, Indian Territory[113] open 1896–1905[25]

  • Elliott Academy (formerly Oak Hill Industrial Academy), near Valliant, Oklahoma, 1912–36[58]

•El Meta Bond College, Minco, Chickasaw Nation, Indian Territory, open 1890–1919[59]

•Emahaka Mission, Wewoka, Seminole Nation, Indian Territory open 1894–1911[60]

•Euchee Boarding School, Sapulpa, Creek Nation, Indian Territory[27]open 1894–1947[61]

•Eufaula Dormitory, Eufaula, Oklahoma name changed from Eufaula High School in 1952.[62] Still in operation[63]

•Eufaula Indian High School, Eufaula, Creek Nation, Indian Territory[27]replaced the burned Asbury Manual Labor School.[34] Open in 1892[63]–1952, when the name changed to Eufaula Dormitory[62]

•Flandreau Indian School, South Dakota[41]

•Folsom Training School, near Smithville, Oklahoma open 1921[64]–32, when it became an all-white school[65]

•Fort Bidwell School, Fort Bidwell, California[41]

•Fort Coffee Academy, Fort Coffee, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory Open 1840–63 and run by the Methodist Episcopal Church, South[50]

•Fort Shaw Indian School, Fort Shaw, Montana[41]

•Fort Sill Indian School (originally known as Josiah Missionary School), near Fort Sill, Indian Territory opened in 1871 by the Quakers,[66]remained open until 1980[67]

•Fort Totten Indian Industrial School, Fort Totten, North Dakota. Boarding and Indian Industrial School in 1891–1935. Became a Community and Day School from 1940 to 1959. Now a Historic Site run by the State Historic Society of North Dakota.

•Genoa Indian Industrial School, Genoa, Nebraska

•Goodland Academy & Indian Orphanage, Hugo, Oklahoma[27]

•Greenville School, California[41]

•Hampton Institute, began accepting Native students in 1878

•Harley Institute, near Tishomingo, Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma Prior to 1889 was known as the Chickasaw Academy and was operated by the Methodist Episcopal Church until 1906.[46]

•Haskell Indian Industrial Training School, Lawrence, Kansas, 1884–present[42]

•Hayward Indian School, Hayward, Wisconsin[41]

•Hillside Mission School, near Skiatook, Cherokee Nation, Indian Territory open 1884[68]–1908 by the Quakers[69]

•Holbrook Indian School, Holbrook, Arizona[41]

•Ignacio Boarding School, Colorado[41]

•Iowa Mission School, near Fallis, Iowa Reservation, Indian Territory open 1890–93 by the Quakers[70]

•Intermountain Indian School, Utah

•Jones Academy, Hartshorne, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory/Oklahoma[27] Opened in 1891[71]

•Koweta Mission School Coweta, Creek Nation, Indian Territory open 1843–61[72]

•Levering Manual Labor School, Wetumka, Creek Nation, Indian Territory Open 1882[73]–91, operated by the Southern Baptist Convention.[74]

•Many Farms High School, near Many Farms, Arizona

•Marty Indian School, Marty, South Dakota

•Mekasukey Academy, near Seminole, Seminole Nation, Indian Territory open 1891–1930[75]

•Morris Industrial School for Indians, Morris, Minnesota,[76] open 1887–1909

•Mount Edgecumbe High School, Sitka, Alaska, established as a BIA school, now operated by the State of Alaska

•Mount Pleasant Indian Industrial Boarding School, Mount Pleasant, Michigan,[27] 1893–1934

•Murray State School of Agriculture, Tishomingo, Oklahoma,[27] est. 1908

•Nenannezed Boarding School, New Mexico[41]

•New Hope Academy, Fort Coffee, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory Open 1844 [50]–96[77] and run by the Methodist Episcopal Church, South[50]

•Nuyaka School and Orphanage (Nuyaka Mission, Presbyterian), Okmulgee, Creek Nation, Indian Territory,[27] 1884–1933

•Oak Hill Industrial Academy, near Valliant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory Open 1878[78]–1912 by the Presbyterian Mission Board. The Choctaw freedmen’s academy was renamed as the Elliott Academy (aka Alice Lee Elliott Memorial Academy) in 1912.[79]

•Oak Ridge Manual Labor School, near Holdenville, Indian Territory in the Seminole Nation. Open 1848–60s by the Presbyterian Mission Board.[80]

•Oklahoma Presbyterian College for Girls, Durant, Oklahoma[27]

•Oklahoma School for the Blind, Muskogee, Oklahoma[27]

•Oklahoma School for the Deaf, Sulphur, Oklahoma[27]

•Oneida Indian School, Wisconsin[41]

•Osage Boarding School, Pawhuska, Osage Nation, Indian Territory open 1874–1922[81]

•Park Hill Mission School, Park Hill Indian Territory/Oklahoma opened 1837[82]

•Pawnee Boarding School, Pawnee, Indian Territory, open 1878–1958[83]

  List of Native American boarding schools[edit]

•Absentee Shawnee Boarding School, near Shawnee, Indian Territory open 1893–99[25][26]

•Albuquerque Indian School, Albuquerque, New Mexico[27]

•Anadarko Boarding School, Anadarko, Oklahoma open 1911–33[28]

•Arapaho Manual Labor and Boarding School, Darlington, Indian Territory opened in 1872 and paid with by federal funds,[29] but run by the Hicksite (Liberal) Friends and Orthodox Quakers.[30] Moved to Concho Indian Boarding School in 1909.[31]

•Armstrong Academy, near Chahta Tamaha, Indian Territory

•Asbury Manual Labor School, near Fort Mitchell, Alabama open 1822–30[32][33] by the United Methodist Missions.[32]

•Asbury Manual Labor School, near Eufaula, Creek Nation, Indian Territory, open 1850–88 by the United Methodist Missions.[34]

•Bacone College, Muscogee, Oklahoma,[27] 1881–present

•Bloomfield Female Academy, originally near Achille, Chickasaw Nation, Indian Territory. Opened in 1848 but relocated to Ardmore, Oklahoma around 1917 and in 1934 was renamed Carter Seminary.[35]

•Bond’s Mission School or Montana Industrial School for Indians, run by Unitarians, Crow Indian Reservation near Custer Station, Montana, 1886–97 [36]

•Burney Institute, near Lebanon, Chickasaw Nation, Indian Territory open 1854–87 when name changed to Chickasaw Orphan Home and Manual Labor School and operated by the Cumberland Presbyterian Church.[37]

•Cameron Institute, Cameron, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory open 1893–early 20th century, was operated by the Presbyterian Church[38]

•Cantonment Indian Boarding School, Canton, Indian Territory run by the General Conference Mennonites[39] from September, 1882 to 1 July 1927[40]

•Carlisle Indian School, Carlisle, Pennsylvania,[41] open 1879–1918[42]

•Carter Seminary, Ardmore, Oklahoma 1917–2004 when the facility moved to Kingston, Oklahoma and was renamed the Chickasaw Children’s Village.[43]

•Chamberlain Indian School, Chamberlain, South Dakota[41]

•Chemawa Indian School, Salem, Oregon[27]

•Cherokee Female Seminary, Tahlequah, Cherokee Nation, Indian Territory open 1851–1910[44]

•Cherokee Male Seminary, Tahlequah, Cherokee Nation, Indian Territory open 1851–1910[44]

•Cherokee Orphan Asylum, Tahlequah, Cherokee Nation, Indian Territory opened in 1871[45]

•Cheyenne-Arapaho Boarding School, Darlington, Indian Territory opened 1871[30] became the Arapaho Manual Labor and Boarding School in 1879[29]

•Cheyenne Manual Labor and Boarding School, Caddo Springs, Indian Territory, opened 1879 and paid with by federal funds,[29] but run by the Hicksite (Liberal) Friends and Orthodox Quakers.[30] Moved to Concho Indian Boarding School in 1909.[31]

•Chickasaw (male) Academy, near Tishomingo, Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma Opened in 1850 by the Methodist Episcopal Church and changed its name to Harley Institute around 1889.[46]

•Chickasaw Children’s Village, on Lake Texoma near Kingston, Oklahoma opened 2004[43]

•Chickasaw National Academy, near Stonewall, Chickasaw Nation, Indian Territory Open about 1865 to 1880[47]

•Chickasaw Orphan Home and Manual Labor School (formerly Burney Academy) near Lebanon, Chickasaw Nation, Indian Territory open 1887–1906[48]

•Chilocco Indian Agricultural School, Chilocco, Oklahoma, open 1884–1980[49]

•Chinle Boarding School, Many Farms, Arizona[41]

•Chuala Female Seminary (also known as the Pine Ridge Mission School), near Doaksville, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory open 1838–61[50][51] by the Presbyterian Church[50]

•Circle of Nations Indian School [3], Wahpeton, North Dakota[41]

•Colbert Institute, Perryville, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory open 1852–57 by the Methodist Episcopal Church, South[52]

•Collins Institute, near Stonewall, Chickasaw Nation, Indian Territory Open about 1885 to 1905[47]

•Concho Indian Boarding School, Concho, Oklahoma open 1909–83[53][54]

•Creek Orphan Asylum, Okmulgee, Creek Nation, Indian Territory opened 1895[55][56]

•Darlington Mission School, Darlington, Indian Territory run by the General Conference Mennonites from 1881 to 1902[57]

•Dwight Mission, Marble City, Oklahoma[27]

•Phoenix Indian School, Phoenix, Arizona[27]

•Pierre Indian School, Pierre, South Dakota[41]

•Pine Ridge Boarding School, Pine Ridge, South Dakota

•Pine Ridge Mission School, near Doaksville, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory see Chuala Female Seminary

•Pinon Boarding School, Pinon, Arizona[41]

•Pipestone Indian School, Pipestone, Minnesota[41]

•Quapaw Industrial Boarding School, Quapaw Agency Indian Territory open 1872–1900[84]

•Rainy Mountain Boarding School, near Gotebo, Kiowa-Comanche-Apache Reservation, Indian Territory, open 1893–1920[85]

•Rapid City Indian School, Rapid City, South Dakota[41]

•Red Moon School, near Hammon, Indian Territory open 1897–1922[86]

•Riverside Indian School, Anadarko, Oklahoma open 1871–present[87]

•Sac and Fox Boarding School, near Stroud, Indiant Territory, open 1872[88]–1919[89] by the Quakers[88]

•Sacred Heart College, near Asher, Potowatamie Nation, Indian Territory open 1884–1902[90]

•Sacred Heart Institute, near Asher, Potowatamie Nation, Indian Territory open 1880–1929[90]

•St. Agnes Academy, Ardmore, Oklahoma[27]

•St. Agnes Mission, Antlers, Oklahoma[27]

•St. Boniface Indian School, Banning, California[91]

•St. Elizabeth’s Boarding School, Purcell, Oklahoma[27]

•St. John’s Boarding School, Gray Horse, Osage Nation, Indian Territory open 1888–1913 and operated by the Bureau of Catholic Indian Missions[92]

•St. Joseph’s Boarding School, Chickasha, Oklahoma[27]

•St. Mary’s Academy, near Asher, Potowatamie Nation, Indian Territory open 1880–1946[90]

•St. Louis Industrial School, Pawhuska, Osage Nation, Indian Territory open 1887–1949 and operated by the Bureau of Catholic Indian Missions[92]

•St. Mary’s Boarding School, Quapaw Agency Indian Territory/Oklahoma open 1893–1927[93]

•St. Patrick’s Mission and Boarding School, Anadarko, Indian Territory open 1892[94]–1909 by the Bureau of Catholic Indian Missions. It was rebuilt and called the Anadarko Boarding School.[28]

•San Juan Boarding School, New Mexico[41]

•Santa Fe Indian School, Santa Fe, New Mexico

•Sasakwa Female Academy, Sasakwa, Seminole Nation, Indian Territory open 1880–92 and run by the Methodist Episcopal Church, South[80]

•Seger Indian Training School, Colony, Indian Territory[41]

•Seneca, Shawnee, and Wyandotte Industrial Boarding School, Wyandotte, Indian Territory[27]

•Sequoyah High School, Tahlequah, Cherokee Nation, Indian Territory[27]

Our Spirituality is Faith in A Warrior Creator

We look back at our story so we can heal and then move forward to strength and renewal.

As you pray and practice your rituals today, can you connect to the Warrior strength in you to recover? To love your family and your people? Will you permit the Warrior Spirit to move you to the Creator, a wellbriety meeting, a healthy friendship, and your therapist to overcome and stay sober?

Look at the first of The Seven Philosophies for Native American women. You will see the Warrior emerge in this story.

Seven Philosophies for Native American Women: #1

You are sacred.

You are the life giver.

You were born to be absolutely worthy of all.

You are a spiritual being as well as a human being.

Here are some beautiful passages from the Red Road on connecting with the Warrior Creator.

-1- Rise with the sun to pray. Pray alone. Pray often. The Great Spirit will listen, if only you speak.

Bison, White (2012-04-23). The Red Road to Wellbriety: In The Native American Way (Kindle Locations 4715-4716).  . Kindle Edition.

I am loved. (The Warrior) Creator loves me, and so, I can love others and not be afraid of what I’m not, or what I am, or about what’s coming around the next corner. I can feel the Creator’s breath on my cheek, and I can feel the heartbeat of the Creation beneath my heart. Is life perfect? Not yet, but life is good. It’s about progress….And progress comes a step at a time as I follow this path I have been given to walk on this living Circle. Wa’do

Bison, White (2012-04-23). The Red Road to Wellbriety: In The Native American Way (Kindle Locations 4592-4598).   Kindle Edition.

6-The (Warrior) Creator: Relationship with the (Warrior) Creator is the sixth principle that is a focus of Indian life. As Indian people, our tribes or Nations have hundreds of different words in our own languages signifying what we mean when we say Creator. I realize we make no gains without the Great Spirit being in our lives. Neither I, nor anything we do, will work without our Creator. Being Indian and being spiritual has the same meaning. Spirituality is our gift from the Great One. This day, I vow to walk the Red Road. As an Indian man, woman, or youth I will return to the traditional and spiritual values that have guided my ancestors for the past generations. I will look with new eyes on the powers of our ceremonies and religious ways, for they are important to the very survival of our people. We have survived and are going to grow and flourish spiritually. We will fulfill our teachings and the purpose that the Creator has given us with dignity. Each day, I will pray and ask for guidance. I will commit to walk the Red Road, or whatever the spiritual way is called in my own culture. If I am Christian, I will be a good one. If I am traditional, I will walk this road with dedication. If each of us can do these things then others will follow. From this day forward, I will reserve time and energy for spirituality, seeking to know the (Warrior) Creator’s will.

Bison, White (2012-04-23). The Red Road to Wellbriety: In The Native American Way (Kindle Locations 4674-4688).  . Kindle Edition.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Hope Experience

Download the free Hope XP app in the app stores.

https://itunes.apple.com/app/id1455389407…

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details…

Will you consider giving a tax deductible gift for Hope to treat addicts, their families, survivors of the sex trade, and Native Americans? What about the price of a pack of cigarettes or favorite coffee for the healing and help of those who need it most?

https://www.paypal.me/HopeGathering

Download-on-the-Mac-App-Store

Money. Supreme value. Treasure. Security.

This article looks at the Biblical conversation of money. Why is money such a big deal?

Why does money corrupt like few other truths? Why does money fall as the top two reasons for divorce?

Why did 10,000 people commit suicide over money during the Great Recession?

The offspring of the first family in Genesis melted down over money. Cain and Abel brought their finest to God as offerings, a symbol of love and respect. Abel brought the best of his resources, Cain brought second rate thrift shop baubles.

The result? Murder.  Cain felt rage over the adulation Abel received for the premium five star gift…Cain’s bargain brand last minute clearance table offering was clearly a symbol of shame and ingratitude.  The result? Brother kills brother in cold blood.

Judas operated as Jesus’ Chief Financial Officer.  Judas kept the books and money while cheating the ministry.  Judas’ last act was in real estate. He bought a field and committed suicide on the property.  All this for…a corrupt spirituality of betrayal mingled with money.

World War 2 was waged in part over money. The Allies wreaked revenge for WW1 atrocities by shaming the Germans with the Guilt Clause worth about 400 billion in today’s market.  The pressure of the tax and the pain of depression era economics gave Hitler fuel to press for war. 70 million people died worldwide. In part…over money.

Let’s look at some Scriptures about money and see if we can get some clarity. The passages we will examine connect to what and whom we love or where our heart locates.

Genesis 4 New International Version

Cain and Abel

4 Adam^[a] made love to his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain.^[b] She said, “With the help of the Lord I have brought forth^[c] a man.” ² Later she gave birth to his brother Abel.

Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. ³ In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. ⁴ And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, ⁵ but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.

⁶ Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? ⁷ If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”

⁸ Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.”^[d] While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.

Ecclesiastes 5:10

Este artículo analiza la conversación bíblica sobre el dinero. ¿Por qué el dinero es tan importante?

¿Por qué el dinero corrompe como pocas verdades? ¿Por qué el dinero cae entre las dos razones principales para el divorcio?

¿Por qué 10.000 personas se suicidaron por dinero durante la Gran Recesión?

La descendencia de la primera familia en Génesis se derrumbó por el dinero. Caín y Abel trajeron lo mejor de sí mismos a Dios como ofrendas, símbolo de amor y respeto. Abel trajo lo mejor de sus recursos, Cain trajo chucherías de tiendas de segunda mano.

¿El resultado? Asesinato. Cain sintió rabia por la adulación que recibió Abel por el regalo de cinco estrellas de primera calidad… La oferta de la mesa de liquidación de última hora de la marca de ganga de Cain fue claramente un símbolo de vergüenza e ingratitud. ¿El resultado? Hermano mata a hermano a sangre fría.

Judas actuó como director financiero de Jesús. Judas se quedó con los libros y el dinero mientras engañaba al ministerio. El último acto de Judas fue en bienes raíces. Compró un campo y se suicidó en la propiedad. Todo esto por… una espiritualidad corrupta de traición mezclada con dinero.

La Segunda Guerra Mundial se libró en parte por dinero. Los Aliados se vengaron de las atrocidades de la Primera Guerra Mundial al avergonzar a los alemanes con la Cláusula de Culpabilidad por un valor aproximado de 400 mil millones en el mercado actual. La presión de los impuestos y el dolor de la economía de la era de la depresión le dieron a Hitler combustible para presionar por la guerra. 70 millones de personas murieron en todo el mundo. En parte… por dinero.

Miremos algunas Escrituras sobre el dinero y veamos si podemos obtener algo de claridad. Los pasajes que examinaremos se conectan con qué y a quién amamos o dónde se ubica nuestro corazón.

Génesis 4 Nueva versión internacional

Caín y Abel

4 Adán[a] hizo el amor con su esposa Eva, y ella quedó embarazada y dio a luz a Caín.[b] Ella dijo: “Con la ayuda del Señor he dado a luz[c] a un varón”. 2 Más tarde dio a luz a su hermano Abel.

Ahora Abel cuidaba rebaños, y Caín labraba la tierra. 3 Con el transcurso del tiempo, Caín trajo algunos frutos de la tierra como ofrenda al Señor. 4 Y Abel también trajo una ofrenda, porciones de grasa de algunos de los primogénitos de su rebaño. El Señor miró con agrado a Abel y su ofrenda, 5 pero a Caín y su ofrenda no miró con agrado. Entonces Caín estaba muy enojado, y su rostro estaba abatido.

6 Entonces el Señor le dijo a Caín: “¿Por qué estás enojado? ¿Por qué tu rostro está abatido? 7 Si haces lo correcto, ¿no serás aceptado? Pero si no haces lo correcto, el pecado está agazapado a tu puerta; desea tenerte, pero tú debes gobernarlo”.

8 Entonces Caín dijo a su hermano Abel: “Salgamos al campo”. [d] Mientras estaban en el campo, Caín atacó a su hermano Abel y lo mató.

Deuteronomio 15:7

7 Si alguno es pobre entre tus hermanos israelitas en alguna de las ciudades de la tierra que el SEÑOR tu Dios te da, no seas duro de corazón ni tacaño con él.

2 Crónicas 1:11-12

11 Dios le dijo a Salomón: “Ya que este es el deseo de tu corazón y no has pedido riquezas, posesiones u honor, ni la muerte de tus enemigos, y ya que no has pedido una larga vida sino sabiduría y conocimiento para gobernar pueblo mío sobre el cual te he puesto por rey, 12 por tanto, te será dado sabiduría y conocimiento. Y también te daré riquezas, posesiones y honor, como ningún rey que hubo antes de ti jamás tuvo ni después de ti tendrá.

Eclesiastés 5:10

10 El que ama el dinero nunca se sacia; quien ama la riqueza nunca está satisfecho con sus ingresos. Esto también no tiene sentido.
Mateo 6:21

21 Porque donde esté vuestro tesoro, allí estará también vuestro corazón.

Mateo 6:24

24 “Nadie puede servir a dos señores. O aborrecerás a uno y amarás al otro, o serás devoto de uno y despreciarás al otro. No se puede servir a Dios y al dinero a la vez.

Mateo 26:14-15

Entonces uno de los doce, que se llamaba Judas Iscariote, fue a los sumos sacerdotes y les dijo: ¿Qué me daréis si os lo entrego? Y le pagaron treinta piezas de plata. Y desde ese momento buscó una oportunidad para traicionarlo.
Lucas 16:13-15

13 “Nadie puede servir a dos señores. O aborrecerás a uno y amarás al otro, o serás devoto de uno y despreciarás al otro. No se puede servir a Dios y al dinero”. 14 Los fariseos, que amaban el dinero, oyeron todo esto y se burlaban de Jesús. 15 Él les dijo: “Ustedes son los que se justifican a sí mismos ante los ojos de los demás, pero Dios conoce sus corazones. Lo que la gente valora mucho es detestable a los ojos de Dios.

Juan 12:5-6

María unge a Jesús
…5 “¿Por qué no se vendió este perfume por trescientos denarios y el dinero se dio a los pobres?” 6Judas no dijo esto porque se preocupara por los pobres, sino porque era ladrón. Como guardián de la bolsa de dinero, solía tomar de lo que se ponía en ella. 7“Déjala en paz,” respondió Jesús. “Ella estaba destinada a guardar este perfume para prepararse para el día de Mi entierro…

Juan 13.29

Como Judas estaba a cargo del dinero, algunos pensaron que Jesús le estaba diciendo que comprara lo necesario para la fiesta, o que diera algo a los pobres.

Hechos 1:18-19

…17Él era uno de los nuestros y participaba en este ministerio.” 18( Con el pago de su maldad, Judas compró un campo, y cayendo de cabeza, se reventó por la mitad y todas sus entrañas se derramaron. 19Esto fue notorio a todos los que habitaban en Jerusalén; por eso llamaron aquel campo en su propia lengua Akeldama , es decir, Campo de Sangre.)…

Romanos 13:8

8 No quede ninguna deuda pendiente, excepto la deuda permanente de amarse unos a otros, porque quien ama a los demás ha cumplido la ley.

Colosenses 3:5

5 Hagan morir, por tanto, todo lo que pertenece a su naturaleza terrenal: fornicación, impureza, lujuria, malos deseos y avaricia, que es idolatría.

1 Timoteo 6:10

10 Porque raíz de todos los males es el amor al dinero. Algunos, ávidos de dinero, se extraviaron de la fe y fueron traspasados de muchos dolores.

Hebreos 13:5

5 Mantengan sus vidas libres del amor al dinero y estén contentos con lo que tienen, porque Dios ha dicho: “Nunca los dejaré; nunca te abandonaré.”

https://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/money-bible-verses/

Cada uno de estos pasajes conecta el dinero con quién y qué amamos. El primer motivo del asesinato fue el dinero y la ira que puede provocar. Dios nos da que debemos tener una mentalidad afín. El corazón de Salomón latía por su pueblo y no por los recibos de caja. Amar la riqueza filtra la alegría. El corazón es donde yace el tesoro. Muéstrame el dinero y te muestro mi corazón. No se puede servir al dinero como prioridad. La primera devoción es Dios que detesta la codicia. El amor que tenemos por el otro fomenta un presupuesto libre de deudas. Si me endeudo, ¿significa esto que mi amor disminuye? La codicia es adoración. Una aventura con el dinero sienta las bases para el fracaso. El dinero roe las raíces de la fe y trae dolor. Dios es nuestro más sincero apego… no el dinero.

Quadragesima Aporna

Pornless Lent or Forty Days of Fornication Free Leadership

Lent is a rich tradition of the Christian Church observed by many branches of faith. The Latin term is, Quadragesima, forty days.  My family and I have observed Lent and enjoy the spiritual reflection as a prelude to Easter.  Lent begins on Ash Wednesday March 6, 2019 with the traditional placement of ash on the worshipers forehead signifying humility and repentance.  Lent culminates forty days later on Easter Sunday  April 21, 2019 celebrating the resurrection of Christ. Between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday are forty days of deprivation. Worshippers surrender some pleasure to focus on the work of Christ on the cross and His resurrection from death.  There are many sacrifices such as giving up television, donating finances to a worthy cause, self inflicted pain, food or drink, abstinence from sexual intercourse, the internet, games, you name it. The goal is to purge oneself and attach to Christ in meaningful transformational ways.

During the 2019 Lenten season while church leadership attend additional worship services and deprive themselves of some pleasure, stats tell us they will at the same time participate in pornography at the same levels as non church goers.  In the Bible belt porn is consumed for longer durations than other parts of the country according to a report by Pornhub.

The irony is apparent and real. There are no stats of church folk differing from unchurched people in divorce rate, sexual abuse, domestic violence, and porn use. Name the denomination and the stats are the same as non affiliated unchurched people. Porn use typically follows hormone transfer diminishing with age. This means that the higher the stats in a demographic the younger the user.

May I reflect on my experience as a pastor for 30 years?  Church leaders have no different porn use  statistically than non churched folk. My anecdotal report although unscientific, is consistent with current data.  In fact the use of porn, prostitutes, and paramours by board members of evangelical churches  I served exceeded any story of unchurched congregants with problematic sexuality.

So, lest we fall into the quagmire of shame and condemnation, let’s look to solution, yes?

What if you call your spiritual leaders to forty days free from porn in your church? What if at the same time you challenge them to healthy sexuality? What do you think may happen if leaders purge themselves of the idolatry of sex addiction?  What do you believe the Spirit of God may do among you? How meaningful will this season of renewal become?

So here goes.  I am challenging you to invite your church leadership to give up porn for lent. Forty days of porn free leaders with a parallel focus on the healthy sexuality of Jesus?

May I give you some pointers as a pastor, sex addiction therapist, and clinical sexologist?

First your leaders may feel anxiety over the idea. Pushback. In sex addiction treatment we speak of an 18 month to two year grief period mourning the loss of the attachment to images of porn.  Porn becomes a need and requires recovery and healing.  The prefrontal cortex may begin to go offline with decreased blood flow and heightened dopamine transfer in the limbic system. Decisions may be clouded and anger actually increase at the idea a pornless Lent.

When you challenge your leadership, do not ask if they view porn, ask them what porn blocking software they have installed to protect themselves and their families. Open DNS is free and will remove any barriers for porn blocking dialogue.  People in recovery take precaution about their drug of choice.  They are careful and feel respect for the power of worshiping other gods.

Watch for symptoms of elevated anxiety, irritability and possible cross addiction. Addicts often replace one drug of choice for another.

The anxiety felt can be shame based and actually increase sexual fantasy. The fantasy neural pathway is driven by shame. Diminish toxic shame and fantasy decreases accordingly.

But after the withdrawal symptoms, your leaders can find freedom. The beauty of sobriety and intimacy with God does return. King David said it after his binge on sex and murder, “Restore to me the joy of my salvation….”  Your leadership can find pleasure in God…once again. Psalm 51

Think about the power of between 1-2 billion Christians this Lenten season who seek intimacy with God rather than intimacy with pornographic images?  What if their deepest secret is love for God rather than what they keep from their partner behind closed doors?

Forty days. Porn and fornication free leadership. Tell your leaders you love them. You are compassionate and praying for them. Ask them how you may support their leadership. And feel free to ask them about their anxiety.  Is it Jesus they love or do images possess more power?

Ask them. Challenge them. Forty days to freedom.

I have put together a Quadragesima, 40 days of reflections, videos, and challenges for Lent.  I hope you enjoy them. Reach out to me, I will help you, friend.

Quadragesima Aporna

Forty Days Porn Free

Days 1-9 Read one of the Loci daily for The Systematic Theology of Healthy Sexuality. Also check out the free videos on Healthy Sex Volumes One and Two. Each Volume has three parts, totaling six episodes.

https://wordpress.com/post/glenmaiden.com/915

Healthy Sex Volume One Part One https://subspla.sh/dkx9fvf

Recovering from porn addiction must attend to the underlying drivers of the behavior. What are the anxieties beneath your story of porn use?  What is your pain? Follow the pain and you will recover-Carnes.

Days 10-19 Read and Reflect on one of the Ten Commandments for Single Christians daily.

https://wordpress.com/post/glenmaiden.com/919

When I treat porn addicts, I begin with their trauma narrative. The pain becomes a complex network of anxieties driving dopamine through addiction neural pathways. Attend to the trauma and you will find relief. Attend to all your trauma, wire by wire.

Day 20: Read and Reflect on Conscious Awareness and Maturity.  Also, check out the satirical video on anonymous sex called, Tinderella.

https://wordpress.com/post/glenmaiden.com/962

Tinderella and Anonymous Sex https://subspla.sh/cr8yv66

As a matter of practicality in porn recovery, I replace the sexual behavior with a meaningful relationship. Do you have a healthy friendship, small group, mentor you can replace your porn with? For each behavior replace it with a different healthy relationship.

Day 21: Read and Reflect on Attachment Heals and Healthy Sexual Boundaries for Children.

https://wordpress.com/post/glenmaiden.com/948

Healthy Sexual Boundaries for Children https://subspla.sh/h7qt5sm

The drive you feel for porn develops between the ages of 0-4 during the growth of grey matter.  Can you reflect on your narrative between those ages? You will find the need you have for porn developed during those years. Did someone leave you? Were your care givers present and attentive?  If not, your brain formed to compensate for these losses. Now, you can attend to your story.

Day 22: Please read and reflect on Parenting Same Sex Children and  the video Healthy Sexual Boundaries for Students.

https://wordpress.com/post/glenmaiden.com/895

Healthy Sexual Boundaries for Students https://subspla.sh/z6pm7mq

Compassion forms from the anterior cingulate located in the prefrontal cortex.  When we use porn, dopamine transfers in the limbic system depleting blood flow from the anterior cingulate and compassion begins to go offline, disable. When we practice compassion, the anterior cingulate activates and we become consciously aware.  Compassion is everything in recovering from porn. Compassion for you…compassion for the victims of porn…compassion for what and whom God loves.

Day 23: Please read and reflect on Shame.

https://wordpress.com/post/glenmaiden.com/823

All of my porn addict clients experience shame as the underlying driver of their addiction. The shame of a mother who did not give good enough care, a father who leveled performance based conditional love, a mother who propositioned her son for intercourse, a distant mother incapable of intimate connection, a father who abandoned his son, a child sexually assaulted by a camp counselor, et. al.  Shame underlies every porn addict I treat. So, what do you think will happen to your porn if we attend to your shame?

Day 24: Please read and reflect on Loving God LovingYou.

https://wordpress.com/post/glenmaiden.com/821

I love treating sex addicts. At some point during the treatment he awakens to the love of God and the new possibility of…loving herself. The transformation is stunning. I think I am addicted to not being addicted.

Day 25: Please read and reflect on Compassion.

https://wordpress.com/post/glenmaiden.com/808

Mirror neurons form in the premotor cortex of the prefrontal lobe.  We mirror attitudes, language, and behavior from this grey matter structure.  When I show compassion to a porn client, he/she always experiences inner compassion for self. God’s main term to define Himself is…The God of Compassion. Show compassion. Be compassionate. Watch the world and porn change around you.

Day 26: Please read and reflect on the video, The Neuroscience of Porn Addiction.

https://wordpress.com/post/glenmaiden.com/702

How are your withdrawal symptoms from porn on day 26?  Have you replaced your porn with a relationship?  Have you slipped? Sunday is the most prolific day for porn use in north America.  Did you use after church?  Start again. Don’t quit. Persevere to the end. The brain can rewire in 90 days. This is possible. With God all things including recovery from porn as a church leader is possible.

Day 27: Please read and reflect on The Image of God, Imago Dei.

https://wordpress.com/post/glenmaiden.com/817

The age of the first time porn user in America is 10. Soon that number will be 6, the age of a child who can operate a tablet and navigate the internet.  When you feel weak, will you recover for your children and grandchildren? Think about a generation of church board members wired to porn. Their compassion disables, self awareness diminishes, anger and irritability increase. Now think about church leadership recovering from porn…compassionate, aware of the delicate working of the Holy Spirit, and able to regulate anger neural pathways?

Day 28: Please read and reflect on Meditation=Amazing Transformation

https://wordpress.com/post/glenmaiden.com/924

Are you experiencing relief and the pleasure of recovery from porn? Are you free?  Your porn profile wires in the brain between the ages of 5-8.  Who and what comprised the people, places, things, sites, sounds, smells of kindergarten through 3rd grade?  You will find a direct connection to the porn you watch. Mind. Blowing.

Day 29-40: Please read and reflect on Imago Curo 101-112, one meditation per day for twelve days.

Imago Curo 101 https://subspla.sh/29z6xsh

The beauty of our work disconnecting from porn reconnects the prefrontal cortex. This is called conscious awareness.  The compassion center of the brain, the anterior cingulate, and the self awareness portion of the brain, the insular cortex, both regain blood flow and activate. Compassion and awareness now regulate addiction neural pathways forming from the limbic system. You are whole now. Do you feel it? Leader, I will be honored to assist you.

Jesus spoke more about money than he talked about heaven and hell, and heaven and hell combined.

Why?  Jesus was no tacky televangelistic salesman…He does not require a payment book from you the thickness of a Bible. If He did, He would be no deity. Jesus speaks of money because of love.

The Spirit of God identifies through story telling and proverb, the precise locale of the human heart.  He states that our money and our heart share the same space. If you were to Google Map the address of your heart, you would find the precise longitude and latitude of your bank account.

Stay with me for a moment. Look at my bank statements and you will see what I love.  You will find charities I support, government entities to whom I render, and wait for it…Amazon.com!  Oh Lordy, that one click shopping is amazing, yes?  Love those thank you messages “for your purchase” from Amazon.com! On closer examination of my order history you will discover grandchildren.  You will see robotic legos, stroller, blocks, space shuttle carseat, clothing for tiny legs and arms, children’s medical supplies…all for the grandchildren we adore.

Google Map my heart and and you will find both bank account and toothless grin of grandchild in the same space.

God does not need your money. He wants your heart.

Today…do you have the compassion for yourself to examine the longitude and latitude of your heart? You may find it in your order history.

^“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”-Jesus  Matthew 6.21

Scriptures on Money

Bible Verses About Money

Bible verses related to Money from the King James Version (KJV) by Relevance

Hebrews 13:5 – [Let your] conversation [be] without covetousness; [and be] content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

1 Timothy 6:10 – For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

Matthew 6:24 – No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

Ecclesiastes 5:10 – He that loveth silver shall not be satisfied with silver; nor he that loveth abundance with increase: this [is] also vanity.

Matthew 6:19-21 – Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:   (Read More…)

Luke 12:33-34 – Sell that ye have, and give alms; provide yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the heavens that faileth not, where no thief approacheth, neither moth corrupteth.   (Read More…)

1 Timothy 6:17-19 – Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy;   (Read More…)

Proverbs 13:11 – Wealth [gotten] by vanity shall be diminished: but he that gathereth by labour shall increase.

Matthew 6:31-33 – Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?   (Read More…)

Proverbs 22:7 – The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower [is] servant to the lender.

Acts 4:32-35 – And the multitude of them that believed were of one heart and of one soul: neither said any [of them] that ought of the things which he possessed was his own; but they had all things common.   (Read More…)

1 Timothy 5:8 – But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Proverbs 13:22 – A good [man] leaveth an inheritance to his children’s children: and the wealth of the sinner [is] laid up for the just.

Acts 2:44-45 – And all that believed were together, and had all things common;   (Read More…)

Luke 16:11 – If therefore ye have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true [riches]?

Proverbs 30:8-9 – Remove far from me vanity and lies: give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient for me:   (Read More…)

Proverbs 22:1 – A [good] name [is] rather to be chosen than great riches, [and] loving favour rather than silver and gold.

Ecclesiastes 5:18-20 – Behold [that] which I have seen: [it is] good and comely [for one] to eat and to drink, and to enjoy the good of all his labour that he taketh under the sun all the days of his life, which God giveth him: for it [is] his portion.   (Read More…)

En Espanol

Jesús habló más sobre el dinero que sobre el cielo y el infierno, y el cielo y el infierno combinados.
¿Por qué? Jesús no era un vendedor tele-evangelista de mal gusto… Él no requiere de usted un libro de pagos del grosor de una Biblia. Si lo hiciera, no sería una deidad. Jesús habla de dinero por amor.

El Espíritu de Dios identifica a través de la narración de historias y proverbios, el lugar preciso del corazón humano. Afirma que nuestro dinero y nuestro corazón comparten el mismo espacio. Si tuviera que buscar en Google Map la dirección de su corazón, encontraría la longitud y latitud precisas de su cuenta bancaria.
Quédate conmigo por un momento. Mira mis extractos bancarios y verás lo que amo. Encontrará organizaciones benéficas a las que apoyo, entidades gubernamentales a las que rindo, y espérelo… ¡Amazon.com! Dios mío, comprar con un solo clic es increíble, ¿no? ¡Me encantan esos mensajes de agradecimiento “por tu compra” de Amazon.com! En un examen más detallado de mi historial de pedidos, descubrirá nietos. Verá legos robóticos, cochecitos, bloques, asiento de automóvil del transbordador espacial, ropa para piernas y brazos diminutos, suministros médicos para niños… todo para los nietos que adoramos.
Google Map mi corazón y encontrará tanto la cuenta bancaria como la sonrisa desdentada del nieto en el mismo espacio.
Dios no necesita tu dinero. Él quiere tu corazón.
Hoy… ¿tienes la compasión por ti mismo para examinar la longitud y latitud de tu corazón? Puede encontrarlo en su historial de pedidos.

“Porque donde esté vuestro tesoro, allí estará también vuestro corazón.”—Jesús Mateo 6.21
Escrituras sobre el dinero
Versículos de la Biblia sobre el dinero
Versículos de la Biblia relacionados con el dinero de la versión King James (KJV) por relevancia
Hebreos 13:5 – [Que vuestra] conversación [sea] sin avaricia; [y estad] contentos con lo que tenéis; porque él ha dicho: Nunca te dejaré, ni te desampararé.
1 Timoteo 6:10 – Porque raíz de todos los males es el amor al dinero, el cual codiciando algunos, se extraviaron de la fe, y fueron traspasados de muchos dolores.
Mateo 6:24 – Ninguno puede servir a dos señores; porque o aborrecerá al uno y amará al otro; o si no, se apegará a uno y menospreciará al otro. No podéis servir a Dios ya las riquezas.
Eclesiastés 5:10 – El que ama la plata no se saciará de plata; ni el que ama la abundancia con aumento: esto también es vanidad.
Mateo 6:19-21 – No os hagáis tesoros en la tierra, donde la polilla y el orín corrompen, y donde los ladrones minan y hurtan:   (Leer más…)
Lucas 12:33-34 – Vended lo que poseéis, y dad limosna; haceos bolsas que no se envejezcan, tesoro en los cielos que nunca se agote, donde ladrón no llega, ni polilla corrompe. (Lee mas…)
1 Timoteo 6:17-19 – A los ricos de este mundo manda que no sean altivos, ni pongan la esperanza en las riquezas, las cuales son inciertas, sino en el Dios vivo, que nos da todas las cosas en abundancia para que las disfrutemos; (Lee mas…)
Proverbios 13:11 – Las riquezas [obtenidas] con vanidad disminuirán, pero el que las recoge con trabajo aumentará.
Mateo 6:31-33 – Por tanto, no os afanéis, diciendo: ¿Qué comeremos? o, ¿qué beberemos? o, ¿Con qué nos vestiremos? (Lee mas…)
Proverbios 22:7 – El rico se enseñorea de los pobres, y el que pide prestado [es] siervo del que presta.
Hechos 4:32-35 – Y la multitud de los que habían creído era de un solo corazón y de una sola alma; ninguno de ellos decía que algo de lo que poseía era suyo; pero tenían todas las cosas en común. (Lee mas…)
1 Timoteo 5:8 – Pero si alguno no provee para los suyos, y mayormente para los de su casa, ha negado la fe, y es peor que un incrédulo.
Proverbios 13:22 – El [hombre] bueno deja herencia a los hijos de sus hijos, y la riqueza del pecador [está] guardada para el justo.
Hechos 2:44-45 – Y todos los que habían creído estaban juntos, y tenían todas las cosas en común; (Lee mas…)
Lucas 16:11 – Así que, si en las riquezas injustas no fuisteis fieles, ¿quién os confiará las [riquezas] verdaderas?
Proverbios 30:8-9 – Quita de mí la vanidad y la mentira; no me des pobreza ni riqueza; aliméntame con comida conveniente para mí:   (Leer más…)
Proverbios 22:1 – Más vale el nombre [bueno] que las grandes riquezas, [y] el favor amoroso más que la plata y el oro.
Eclesiastés 5:18-20 – He aquí [lo] que he visto: [es] bueno y hermoso [para uno] comer y beber, y gozar del bien de todo su trabajo que toma debajo del sol todo el días de su vida que Dios le da, porque es su porción. (Lee mas…)

The Twelve Steps have assisted recovering people to find sobriety for over half a century. The principles are much more ancient founded upon the transformative work of Christ over 2000 years ago.

Seven of the Twelve Steps connect directly to spirituality. This is no accident. Spirituality touches transcendence, the truth behind drug use.  When an addict uses, she transcends her pain momentarily in the attempt to relieve its anxiety.  It makes sense that a careful attending to one’s spirit (non material truth) can heal addiction neural pathways.

The final three Steps touch conscious awareness and maturity.  Steps 10-12 teach the recovering addict to continue healthy self examination, spirituality, and giving the gift to others.

Are these not the character traits of the aware and the mature mind? I am focused on continued growth, humble enough to admit wrongs, praying-meditating on the ability of the prefrontal cortex to be aware of God committed to His will and power.

These are the traits of the mature.  A vet posted in a comment that he has been betrayed more by pastors than his brothers in the military. I agree.  We live in an era of replacing the sacred spirituality of conscious awareness and maturity with Nihilism.

The greatest betrayals whether from the clergy pedophile, or corrupt politicians in ecclesiastical organizations have emerged in this era. The pedophile and the politician alike project the nothing-matters-but-the-moment Nihilism of our culture.

Can we project a new vision?  One of connection with spirituality and maturity?  The Steps and their spiritual results have never been more relevant in a Nihilistic culture. Ongoing growth with humility matter, spirituality with conscious awareness transcends Nihilism, and the awakening that results…stunning.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly
admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with
God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and
the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to
carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our
affairs

Diseased Addiction Neural Pathways are caused by unhealthy attachment to substances or relationships

The noun disease derives from a 13th century AD French word, aise, meaning peace of mind, balance, comfort, or well being.  The 13th century French verb is aiser, to help, to assist, give ease, bring to balance, mitigate, relieve from pain or care. Farmer states that ease is an 1861 slang term for “contenting a woman” sexually. ETYMONLINE

(This is an MRI of the grey matter of the brain. During the years 0-4 we form the foundation for relationships; anxiety regulation system, bonding, compassion, and the immune system.)

The word disease is built on the word aise which means balance. Add the prefix, des or dis meaning without and you have the word, disease, meaning imbalance.  Therefore disease in our conversation of addiction as disease means addiction neural pathways are imbalanced or dis-eased.

Our goal is to become people of balance, our sobriety is known for our ability to regulate anxiety of grief, resentment, trauma, or pain.

The anxiety regulation system which brings balance to diseased addiction neural pathways is driven by the attachment system which connects to intimate relationships.  We regulate our anxiety by attaching to God, to our support group, our healthy friends and family, and our therapist.

Attachment comes from the French word, attaché, which means “nailed or fixed to”. Philip Flores in his book Addiction as an Attachment Disorder 2004 focuses the work of recovery on attaching to others. He states:

     Attachment to others is as vital as the drive for sex or food. 

     Attachment regulates anxiety through transfer of oxytocin     

     and vasopressin. 

     Attachment increases density of opioid receptors and the ability

     to self soothe.      

    Without attachment 75% of infants die. (Flores, 2004)

(Diffusion Tensor Imaging of white matter neuro pathways. The “wires” connect to the grey matter for relationships formed between 0-4. Between the ages of 5-8 these wires form connecting us to people, places, things, sites, sounds, and smells.  This is called the arousal template. These neural pathways are made of fat, water, and protein. These pathways can change.)

“Intimate long lasting relationships are an integral part of human nature and the ability to establish long lasting gratifying relationships is directly related to the quality of early attachment experiences.  Difficulty overcoming ineffective attachment styles (Ainsworth 1989) can leave certain individuals vulnerable to addictive compulsions as compensatory behavior for their deficiency.   Louie (1996) emphasizes the primacy of this biologically driven need: ‘Attachment is not just a good idea, it’s the law.’” (Flores 2004) 

Without attachment both the compassion and the bonding systems do not develop.  We have difficulty expressing and receiving compassion and we may struggle to bond in healthy ways.

Every thought, word, deed has a physical structure in the brain wired by genetic code or experience.  These physical structures, or neural pathways, are either eased or diseased, balanced or imbalanced. We can with intentional focus of healthy relationships with God and each other attend to imbalanced neural pathways bringing ease and balance to that which was diseased.

Our sobriety is the beautiful process of bringing balance to imbalance, wholeness to lives fragmented by pain. Attaching to God, our support group, our healthy friends, and an amazing therapist…heals.