Category: Sex Addiction Therapy

Sexual Anorexia: Part One

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Love this video and…bacon. Check out the little man and his reaction to the first taste of…bacaawnnnn! This video shows the dopamine transfer of a boy’s first taste of pure awesomeness.

Counseling numerous clients right now…their concern?  They don’t do sex. Can’t put together the desire for healthy sexuality.  We call this, Sexual Anorexia and the sufferer a Sexual Anorexic, (SX).

Can’t. Not won’t. Can’t be sexually intimate.

Numerous reasons cause SX.  Let’s start with this. Dopamine transfer. Dopamine is the neurotransmitter that streams through neural pathways.  Just as bacon causes dopamine transfer in reward networks in the brain, dopamine also transfers  in fear networks. This is a Diffusion Tensor image of reward and fear neural pathways in the brain.

red:blue diffusion tensor

Technology now allows us to see both reward and fear architecture in the white matter of the brain. The smell, texture, and pure awesomeness of bacon trigger (cue) powerful reward centers. We remember and love bacon…forever.

Add trauma to sexuality like abuse, abandonment, fear, or pain  then sexual neural pathways form connecting to “terror” rather than pleasure.  Instead of reward pathways forming for sexual intimacy, fear dominates the sexual matrix. Sexuality becomes fear based, disgust responses emerge, and the result? Shame. The SX cannot sustain healthy intimacy, relationship deteriorates. Shame reinforces fear networks. In fact, as the SX becomes more preoccupied with the terror of intimacy, dopamine transfers. It is possible then to become addicted to avoiding sexuality. The SX now pumps dopamine through neural pathways that feel like… reward. The SX can become addicted to avoiding sexuality. Like the boy who will never forget the reward of his first mouthful of bacon, the SX has unknowingly created neural memory to avoid sexuality. The shame of broken relationship without intimacy reinforces the terror of sex. Sexual intimacy becomes the cue for terror.

How do we find hope for SX?

Belief. Join us for part 2. Hope is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fear. Can. Change.

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Brain Graphic_1God can change fear. Over 90% of my clients have a high priority for spirituality, God-consciousness. 87% of people in recovery say their higher power is helpful.  Jesus is my higher power. The word “proud” does not describe my faith, I do feel ongoing gratitude for the belief that has changed me for 30 years. The content, object, and power  of faith changes neurology. Fear neural pathways can change through belief. What are your greatest fears? Double click and print these graphics and I will walk with you through a deep process and together we will ask God to change your neurology.  This is new/old tech. God has been in the phobia morphing business for millenia. Now, science has finally caught up. Message me and we will start. Do you need support? I have several online groups to support you. Hope is.

Glog Table diagram (1) (1)

Relationship Recovery Intensive

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Would you have need for a relationship recovery weekend? In one weekend couples can do 6 months worth of therapy without disrupting work or family commitments.
 
What you will receive: Clear understanding of why sexuality has become unhealthy for you, a vision for intimate sexuality,  assessments for sex addiction, post traumatic stress, partner survey, money obsession, a personalized plan for rebuilding relational trust, neurological rewiring,  a rich support network including the top sex addiction therapists in the world, personal care, and if you wish a spiritual community of help.
The most common problems identified by couples are rebuilding trust, learning intimacy, establishing boundaries, developing a healthy sexual relationship, and forgiving. Most couples also report great difficulty in conflict resolution. The factors which appear most helpful to couples in rebuilding and improving their relationship are individual involvement in 12-step meetings and therapy, and joint counseling and attendance at couples’ mutual help and/or therapy groups. Coaddicts typically require over a year to forgive and become willing to trust the addict again. New sexual problems are common in the early recovery period, and tend to improve gradually.   Despite past hurts and significant relational, financial, legal, and health problems relationships can and do recover.
Weekend Intensives allow couples to do the equivalent of 6 months of therapy from Friday night to Sunday afternoon.  Intensives assist clients to begin recovery with maximum anonymity and no disruption to job and family.
 
Equipping the sexually addicted person with the tools he/she needs to develop new neurological wiring to counter what is often a long-standing pattern of destructive addictive behavior. 
 

 

The second focus of Intensives is to lead couples in a process that can ultimately lead to restoration of trust and wholeness in the relationship.
 
Contact North Coast Center for Healthy Sexuality for reservations. 
 
503-440-5532
 
Dr.glenmaiden@gmail.com
 

Healthy Sexuality Summit For Families April 16, 2016 9-noon

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Announcing our first Healthy Sexuality Summit for Families April 16, 2016 at NCFF. In this summit we will look at healthy sexuality for adults, students, and children. Our staff will introduce the work of Jim Burns a talented author who has written age graded titles for children and students. This Summit will end with small group focus groups to talk through the needs of children and parents. I will also give the latest stats on cybersex and our families.

First Annual Healthy Sexuality Workshop in Cannon Beach, Oregon

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Thank you Martin Hospitality for hosting the First Annual Healthy Sexuality Workshop at Haystack Gardens in Cannon Beach. Our workshop was packed!

Thank you Cannon Beach Police Department, Astoria PD, Ocean Lodge staff, North Coast Family Fellowship, Awakenings by the Sea, and Free by the Sea Rehabs for bringing your staff. Ira Krizo brought his students from the CB Culinary Academy. Thank you for the delicious snacks, and Chief Schermerhorn of CB Police Department for the donuts.

This event was a hit!  We examined cybersex statistics,  current technologies of assessment and treatment, and finally…hope.

Stay tuned for next year’s workshop. We will put together a greater vision of healthy sexuality for you and your family.

Keep checking our blog for current statistics, and treatment options. Hope is.