This begins a new journey in the healing of the heart. Several PTSD confidential groups meet on line daily for encouragement, prayer, and healing. The participants read the passion narrative of Jesus in John 12-21 and reflect on Bessel Vanderkolk’s book, The Body Keeps the Score. These are amazing groups of healing people. I am adding one more dimension to this healing work, a daily meditation from the Psalms. Did you know that 1/3 of the Psalms touch King David’s trauma of family, work, and sin? In the comment section below I will write one reflection per day. Love your input.
Hope Experience
Rev. Glen Maiden PhD, DMin, LMHC, CSAT, CMAT, CST, ANFT
Hope Experience 
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Day 34. 331 days until we finish our journey.
Hurt and pain seem like a full time job, yes? When you craft a timeline for King David, his life looks like he's lighting a fire, jumping in the blaze, or his hair smokes in the aftermath. David took time to reflect on God when his clothes weren't on fire. David takes pleasure in the Lord. David can give God thanks for the good in his life. He identifies the core issue of why fire burns so bright, idolatry, worshiping other than the living God. David enjoys the moment, lives in submission to God, loves His presence…before the smoke. I wonder if being consumed with my pain is idolatry? Is it possible to worship my hurt to the exclusion of God Himself? Today, take pleasure in Jesus. Paul says that to live is Christ, die…gain. Paul the Apostle knew contentment before the imprisonments, in the beatings, after the shipwreck. Paul knew His presence in pain. Can you love Him…now?
Psalm 16New Living Translation (NLT)
Psalm 16
A psalm[a] of David.
1 Keep me safe, O God,
for I have come to you for refuge.
2 I said to the Lord, “You are my Master!
Every good thing I have comes from you.”
3 The godly people in the land
are my true heroes!
I take pleasure in them!
4 Troubles multiply for those who chase after other gods.
I will not take part in their sacrifices of blood
or even speak the names of their gods.
5 Lord, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing.
You guard all that is mine.
6 The land you have given me is a pleasant land.
What a wonderful inheritance!
7 I will bless the Lord who guides me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
8 I know the Lord is always with me.
I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.
9 No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice.[b]
My body rests in safety.
10 For you will not leave my soul among the dead[c]
or allow your holy one[d] to rot in the grave.
11 You will show me the way of life,
granting me the joy of your presence
and the pleasures of living with you forever.[e]
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Yes, I would like to join in. Thank you
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Would you like to join an online PTSD support group?
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Day 35. 330 to the finish line. Reviewing the last few days of Psalms. David speaks honestly about his pain and evil influence around him. David's hurt and enemies did not disappear. David's trauma went through a transformation when his focus and his heart touched the love of God. Think with me for a moment. Adam and Eve sin against God. Trauma. God redeems them with pain in child birth and labor. God follows up this act with the first blood sacrifice for sin. He clothes their shame. This all points to Jesus on the cross. Deeper now. He gives them the gift of pain. No anesthesia. No numbing. Good God gives pain. Do you love your children? Do you become exhilarated at the thought of more children or grandchildren? Are these truths not the greatest gifts of your life? Our culture has pathologized pain, medicated it, claimed it in the name of our deity to instantly remove our suffering forever. Jesus dies on a cross. His stripes heal us. But do they remove our pain? No. Jesus through His Spirit does the deepest of transformations with our sufferings, not apart from them. Look at David's last comment in Psalm 13, this is a Psalmatic piece, in the midst of heart break, ” But I trust in your unfailing love.
I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
6 I will sing to the Lord
because he is good to me.” And may we say, in the midst of his pain.
Psalm 13
For the choir director: A psalm of David.
1 O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever?
How long will you look the other way?
2 How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul,
with sorrow in my heart every day?
How long will my enemy have the upper hand?
3 Turn and answer me, O Lord my God!
Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.
4 Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying, “We have defeated him!”
Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall.
5 But I trust in your unfailing love.
I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
6 I will sing to the Lord
because he is good to me.
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Day 36. 329 days to go. Psalm 17New Living Translation (NLT)
Psalm 17
A prayer of David.
1 O Lord, hear my plea for justice.
Listen to my cry for help.
Pay attention to my prayer,
for it comes from honest lips.
2 Declare me innocent,
for you see those who do right.
3 You have tested my thoughts and examined my heart in the night.
You have scrutinized me and found nothing wrong.
I am determined not to sin in what I say.
4 I have followed your commands,
which keep me from following cruel and evil people.
5 My steps have stayed on your path;
I have not wavered from following you.
6 I am praying to you because I know you will answer, O God.
Bend down and listen as I pray.
7 Show me your unfailing love in wonderful ways.
By your mighty power you rescue
those who seek refuge from their enemies.
8 Guard me as you would guard your own eyes.[a]
Hide me in the shadow of your wings.
9 Protect me from wicked people who attack me,
from murderous enemies who surround me.
10 They are without pity.
Listen to their boasting!
11 They track me down and surround me,
watching for the chance to throw me to the ground.
12 They are like hungry lions, eager to tear me apart—
like young lions hiding in ambush.
13 Arise, O Lord!
Stand against them, and bring them to their knees!
Rescue me from the wicked with your sword!
14 By the power of your hand, O Lord,
destroy those who look to this world for their reward.
But satisfy the hunger of your treasured ones.
May their children have plenty,
leaving an inheritance for their descendants.
15 Because I am righteous, I will see you.
When I awake, I will see you face to face and be satisfied.
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Day 36.
3 You have tested my thoughts and examined my heart in the night.
You have processed my heart like one who refines pure metal. God examines, tests to purify, the heart. My heart God processes for integrity and purity through the traumas of life. Look at David's Psalmatic pain. “Wicked people attack, murderous enemies surround…eager to tear me apart…ambush.” These hurtful people may very well be Palestinians. They may also be David's family, father in law and possibly son. God processes the heart. The heart, leb, in Hebrew is where we store our pain. The sorrow of betrayal, and anxiety inflicted by toxic enemies goes deep within. The enteric nervous system locates from the esophagus to the anus. 500 million neurons, 50 percent of dopamine, and 90% of serotonin reside within the enteric nervous system assisting digestion…and responding to pain. Aren't you stabbed in the heart by betrayal? Don't you feel sucker punched when someone close abandons you? Is not all that pain found in your gut? The enteric nervous system is called the second brain. God processes the heart, that place where our pain resides. He tests us to purge impurity from the place we carry our pain. David's pain. Your hurt. My anguish. Jesus speaks to our trauma by testing our heart, through purging impurity from our pain. Do you see who He is and what He does in your struggle? Now, look at David's result. “…I will see you. When I awake, I will see you face to face and be satisfied.” David waits to be torn apart. At the same time he sees God is working on David's heart, his pain. Can you see what God does in you? Your sorrow? He is with you. You will see Him and be satisfied.
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Day 37. 328 to go.
David turns the dial slowly on the volume of his pain. He examines carefully the place God holds in his trauma.
Psalm 17.6 I am praying to you because I know you will answer, O God.
Bend down and listen as I pray.
7 Show me your unfailing love in wonderful ways.
By your mighty power you rescue
those who seek refuge from their enemies.
8 Guard me as you would guard your own eyes.[a]
Hide me in the shadow of your wings.
9 Protect me from wicked people who attack me,
from murderous enemies who surround me.
David has no doubt that God is on his side. Not a hint of question. David is hated. Pursued by his own family who put out “contracts” to kill him. David is a central figure in Scripture because of several subtle yet powerful truths. David had the capacity to repent. He persevered through massive failure. David saw God as his protection and strength in the midst of disaster. Do I have the capacity to repent and persevere through my pain? Is God my strength and protection? Or am I living on my own strength? I believe greatness is in the subtle turns of the dial.
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Day 38. 327 more awesome days. David's life is an ongoing mess of politics, murder, intrigue, and instability. Did you know it's possible to worship our pain? Bessel Vanderkolk's book, The Body Keeps the Score, speaks of the possibility of become addicted to our trauma. This connection to our hurt is called post traumatic repetition. The vet becomes a mercenary, the victim of abuse chooses a life of prostitution, the battered child falls in love with violent partners over and over again. Look at David's words.
Psalm 17. 9 Protect me from wicked people who attack me,
from murderous enemies who surround me.
10 They are without pity.
Listen to their boasting!
11 They track me down and surround me,
watching for the chance to throw me to the ground.
12 They are like hungry lions, eager to tear me apart—
like young lions hiding in ambush.
13 Arise, O Lord!
Stand against them, and bring them to their knees!
Rescue me from the wicked with your sword!
14 By the power of your hand, O Lord,
destroy those who look to this world for their reward.
But satisfy the hunger of your treasured ones.
May their children have plenty,
leaving an inheritance for their descendants.
15 Because I am righteous, I will see you.
When I awake, I will see you face to face and be satisfied.
David is is immersed in sorrow. This is standard operating procedure for the king. One thing you can count on is that you can count on chaos. Crisis causes adrenalin transmission. Opioid neurotransmitters soothe painful consciousness. You have heard of opiates, right? Bam. We become addicted to chaos and its neurology. Idolatry is the theological term for the clinical term addiction. They operate the same neurologically and spiritually. We can reach a place where not only the pain we are in causes trauma, but we can become so attached that we repeat chaos, over, and over, and over.
Jesus dies on a cross. He receives the moral consequence and pain into his own body. Jesus' body now keeps the score on our sin and pain. Jesus receives our shame and guilt upon himself. Do you see the power of the cross? Your pain, your hurt, your moral consequence placed upon Jesus.
This is why David is satisfied with God. This is my contentment with Jesus.
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Day 39. 326 more days. This Psalm reflects after the mess. David had a resilience to persevere through chaos and connect with God in rich meaningful ways. David did not stay stuck in the boon docks of resentment and bitterness for the conflicts. This post Psalmatic verse speaks of God's goodness in the messes. Jesus is good in your chaos. He knows your way of suffering. He is with you.
Psalm 18New Living Translation (NLT)
Psalm 18
For the choir director: A psalm of David, the servant of the Lord. He sang this song to the Lord on the day the Lord rescued him from all his enemies and from Saul. He sang:
1 I love you, Lord;
you are my strength.
2 The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior;
my God is my rock, in whom I find protection.
He is my shield, the power that saves me,
and my place of safety.
3 I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise,
and he saved me from my enemies.
4 The ropes of death entangled me;
floods of destruction swept over me.
5 The grave[a] wrapped its ropes around me;
death laid a trap in my path.
6 But in my distress I cried out to the Lord;
yes, I prayed to my God for help.
He heard me from his sanctuary;
my cry to him reached his ears.
7 Then the earth quaked and trembled.
The foundations of the mountains shook;
they quaked because of his anger.
8 Smoke poured from his nostrils;
fierce flames leaped from his mouth.
Glowing coals blazed forth from him.
9 He opened the heavens and came down;
dark storm clouds were beneath his feet.
10 Mounted on a mighty angelic being,[b] he flew,
soaring on the wings of the wind.
11 He shrouded himself in darkness,
veiling his approach with dark rain clouds.
12 Thick clouds shielded the brightness around him
and rained down hail and burning coals.[c]
13 The Lord thundered from heaven;
the voice of the Most High resounded
amid the hail and burning coals.
14 He shot his arrows and scattered his enemies;
great bolts of lightning flashed, and they were confused.
15 Then at your command, O Lord,
at the blast of your breath,
the bottom of the sea could be seen,
and the foundations of the earth were laid bare.
16 He reached down from heaven and rescued me;
he drew me out of deep waters.
17 He rescued me from my powerful enemies,
from those who hated me and were too strong for me.
18 They attacked me at a moment when I was in distress,
but the Lord supported me.
19 He led me to a place of safety;
he rescued me because he delights in me.
20 The Lord rewarded me for doing right;
he restored me because of my innocence.
21 For I have kept the ways of the Lord;
I have not turned from my God to follow evil.
22 I have followed all his regulations;
I have never abandoned his decrees.
23 I am blameless before God;
I have kept myself from sin.
24 The Lord rewarded me for doing right.
He has seen my innocence.
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Day 40. 325 more days to go. Look at the descriptors David uses of God after the trauma; faithful, integrity, pure, perfect way, unfailing love. David possessed a spiritual architecture upon which he faced chaos. When the smoke cleared, the framework supported his recovery from the pain. What is your framework for facing assault? Where does your consciousness land after the battle? Where does the sight of your own blood take your thinking? David's hemorrhage centered him on the faitfulness, integrity, purity, perfection, and unfailing love of God. Think about Jesus. He hemorrhages on the cross for our sin. He speaks forgiveness with integrity, purity, and love. The architecture of His love prevailed against evil.
To the faithful you show yourself faithful;
to those with integrity you show integrity.
26 To the pure you show yourself pure,
but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd.
27 You rescue the humble,
but you humiliate the proud.
28 You light a lamp for me.
The Lord, my God, lights up my darkness.
29 In your strength I can crush an army;
with my God I can scale any wall.
30 God’s way is perfect.
All the Lord’s promises prove true.
He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.
31 For who is God except the Lord?
Who but our God is a solid rock?
32 God arms me with strength,
and he makes my way perfect.
33 He makes me as surefooted as a deer,
enabling me to stand on mountain heights.
34 He trains my hands for battle;
he strengthens my arm to draw a bronze bow.
35 You have given me your shield of victory.
Your right hand supports me;
your help[d] has made me great.
36 You have made a wide path for my feet
to keep them from slipping.
37 I chased my enemies and caught them;
I did not stop until they were conquered.
38 I struck them down so they could not get up;
they fell beneath my feet.
39 You have armed me with strength for the battle;
you have subdued my enemies under my feet.
40 You placed my foot on their necks.
I have destroyed all who hated me.
41 They called for help, but no one came to their rescue.
They even cried to the Lord, but he refused to answer.
42 I ground them as fine as dust in the wind.
I swept them into the gutter like dirt.
43 You gave me victory over my accusers.
You appointed me ruler over nations;
people I don’t even know now serve me.
44 As soon as they hear of me, they submit;
foreign nations cringe before me.
45 They all lose their courage
and come trembling from their strongholds.
46 The Lord lives! Praise to my Rock!
May the God of my salvation be exalted!
47 He is the God who pays back those who harm me;
he subdues the nations under me
48 and rescues me from my enemies.
You hold me safe beyond the reach of my enemies;
you save me from violent opponents.
49 For this, O Lord, I will praise you among the nations;
I will sing praises to your name.
50 You give great victories to your king;
you show unfailing love to your anointed,
to David and all his descendants forever.
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Day 41. 324 days to go. Read this Pre Psalmatic passage several times, it's so rich. David is not being attacked by any family members, terrorists, or militant giants. David loves the Lord. The king's pain does not define David. The Lord defines him. God is David's rock. The laws of the Lord are truthful and palatable. Truth is stability in the trauma. Read. Slowly.
Psalm 19
For the choir director: A psalm of David.
1 The heavens proclaim the glory of God.
The skies display his craftsmanship.
2 Day after day they continue to speak;
night after night they make him known.
3 They speak without a sound or word;
their voice is never heard.[a]
4 Yet their message has gone throughout the earth,
and their words to all the world.
God has made a home in the heavens for the sun.
5 It bursts forth like a radiant bridegroom after his wedding.
It rejoices like a great athlete eager to run the race.
6 The sun rises at one end of the heavens
and follows its course to the other end.
Nothing can hide from its heat.
7 The instructions of the Lord are perfect,
reviving the soul.
The decrees of the Lord are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
8 The commandments of the Lord are right,
bringing joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are clear,
giving insight for living.
9 Reverence for the Lord is pure,
lasting forever.
The laws of the Lord are true;
each one is fair.
10 They are more desirable than gold,
even the finest gold.
They are sweeter than honey,
even honey dripping from the comb.
11 They are a warning to your servant,
a great reward for those who obey them.
12 How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart?
Cleanse me from these hidden faults.
13 Keep your servant from deliberate sins!
Don’t let them control me.
Then I will be free of guilt
and innocent of great sin.
14 May the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing to you,
O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.
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Day 42. 323 til the end. Psalm 18 is a respite from the drama of leadership, family members that hate David, a wife who shames him, a father in law with vendetta to kill. David engages a truly noble point of leadership. He reflects about himself in light of God's goodness. In vss. 7-11 David examines in detail the instructions, decrees, commandments, and laws of God. Listen to how David perceives the laws of God: perfect, reviving the inner being, trustworthy, transforming the dull into wise, right, bring joy to the heart, clear, true, fair, desirable, sweet. David has a high view of the decrees of God. He sees the character of God in the law. There is no hint of legalism in these words. David sees the value of Scripture for the reflection of his own heart. The heart is where we carry our pain. The Word of God, the character of God, the speech of God speaks to our pain. Look at the introspection of the king, “How can I know the sins lurking in my heart? Cleanse me. Keep me. Don't allow their control over me. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart (pain) be pleasing to you, O Lord my rock and my redeemer.” David moves from the beauty of God in vss. 1-6 to the value of God's law, to the reflection of David's character. What's happening in my heart? Really? In between the blasts of personal attacks and vicious politics David connects to the goodness of God and the reflection of his pain. Paul the Apostle says this about Jesus in Romans 10:9 If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. David confesses his faith in God, believes…God saves him. I wonder if another facet of salvation is not the reflection of one's heart, the ability to connect the pain of trauma to the truth and love of God? Doesn't this make us so much more alive? As David says, “the soul revives.”
7 The instructions of the Lord are perfect,
reviving the soul.
The decrees of the Lord are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
8 The commandments of the Lord are right,
bringing joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are clear,
giving insight for living.
9 Reverence for the Lord is pure,
lasting forever.
The laws of the Lord are true;
each one is fair.
10 They are more desirable than gold,
even the finest gold.
They are sweeter than honey,
even honey dripping from the comb.
11 They are a warning to your servant,
a great reward for those who obey them.
12 How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart?
Cleanse me from these hidden faults.
13 Keep your servant from deliberate sins!
Don’t let them control me.
Then I will be free of guilt
and innocent of great sin.
14 May the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing to you,
O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.
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Day 43. 322 days to go. If you are a leader, you will experience trauma and betrayal. Can I tell you what happens to me when I am shot at? I work harder. The tougher the pain, the more passionate and rigid my work ethic. I do not stop to reflect, listen, assess the damage and to triage myself or my family. This is bad. Trauma builds within the fabric of our bodies, our neurology, our heart. I feel it in my guts. Pain stays, and if not careful screams defiance. Look at David's final words in vs. 12-14. “How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart? Cleanse me from hidden faults. Keep your servant from deliberate sins! Don't let them, (the sins) control me. Then I will be free of guilt and innocent of great sin. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord my rock and my redeemer.” David has been wounded by so many. David found a place for his pain…the intimacy of God in David's trauma. God knows our way of pain. He is with us, redeeming. David has the ability to stop the treadmill of performance and ask the hard question of his heart's pain. David speaks to God from his pain and his desire is that the conversation be pleasing to God upon whom David builds his life and love.
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Day 44. 321 more to go. God created deep within us the need for a father. This connection to a bio father is His way of bringing us to Himself. We crave a parent to answer our cry, care for us, tend to us, nurture, and when necessary rescue us. Be careful not to confuse the need for God with biology. David had the capacity to seek nurture and rescue not from humanity, but from God Himself. You will find a trap seeking approval and rescue from people. It's not that your need is wrong, the One whom you seek must be capable of filling the void within you. That One will not be a person. The parent you seek is God. You can know Him by loving and following Jesus. John 14:9. In this relationship of His tender compassion you will know the nurture you seek. Look at the words of David. God answers your cry, keeps you safe, grants your heart's desire, and answers prayer. You cannot. People have no power. God can. David wrestles with the trauma of his life. His perseverance was fueled by God's compassionate power…not people.
Psalm 20
For the choir director: A psalm of David.
1 In times of trouble, may the Lord answer your cry.
May the name of the God of Jacob keep you safe from all harm.
2 May he send you help from his sanctuary
and strengthen you from Jerusalem.[a]
3 May he remember all your gifts
and look favorably on your burnt offerings. Interlude
4 May he grant your heart’s desires
and make all your plans succeed.
5 May we shout for joy when we hear of your victory
and raise a victory banner in the name of our God.
May the Lord answer all your prayers.
6 Now I know that the Lord rescues his anointed king.
He will answer him from his holy heaven
and rescue him by his great power.
7 Some nations boast of their chariots and horses,
but we boast in the name of the Lord our God.
8 Those nations will fall down and collapse,
but we will rise up and stand firm.
9 Give victory to our king, O Lord!
Answer our cry for help.
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Day 45. 320 days to go. This is a Psalmatic verse, that is during a mortar attack. Look at the inclusio of vss. 1 and 9, “In times of trouble may the Lord answer your cry…answer our cry for help.” Between these bursts of shrapnel and his cry for help David's prayer is that God will keep safe and look with favor. Vs. 4 David wishes that the heart's desires are granted by God. Answered prayer is David's passion. Good comes David's way and he looks to the name of God. David reveals his secret of relationship with God. In between the mortar rounds David prays, looks to the heart, and the character, the essence of God. David's spiritual architecture frames on the character of Jesus and the nuances of his heart through prayer. How powerful yet subtle is the depth of David. Jesus faces the cross. He does not preach sermons, he does not heal thousands, he walks on no water. Jesus takes 3 of his best friends and he prays, in a garden. Jesus is honest about His heart, “Take this cup of suffering from me.” Then in the next breath as Jesus attends His heart, he prays, “Not my will, but yours be done.” The world changes between mortar rounds in the humble yet profound prayer of Jesus.
Psalm 21
For the choir director: A psalm of David.
1 How the king rejoices in your strength, O Lord!
He shouts with joy because you give him victory.
2 For you have given him his heart’s desire;
you have withheld nothing he requested. Interlude
3 You welcomed him back with success and prosperity.
You placed a crown of finest gold on his head.
4 He asked you to preserve his life,
and you granted his request.
The days of his life stretch on forever.
5 Your victory brings him great honor,
and you have clothed him with splendor and majesty.
6 You have endowed him with eternal blessings
and given him the joy of your presence.
7 For the king trusts in the Lord.
The unfailing love of the Most High will keep him from stumbling.
8 You will capture all your enemies.
Your strong right hand will seize all who hate you.
9 You will throw them in a flaming furnace
when you appear.
The Lord will consume them in his anger;
fire will devour them.
10 You will wipe their children from the face of the earth;
they will never have descendants.
11 Although they plot against you,
their evil schemes will never succeed.
12 For they will turn and run
when they see your arrows aimed at them.
13 Rise up, O Lord, in all your power.
With music and singing we celebrate your mighty acts.
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Day 46. We just broke the 320 day mark. 319 to go folks.
Remedy Savior
Psalm 18.14
May the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing to you,
O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.
Adele rocks her new album, 25. Love this song, Remedy. Adele is my best friend, she just doesn't know it yet. Please confirm friend request, Adele.
I remember all of the things that I thought I wanted to be
So desperate to find a way out of my world
And finally breath
Right before my eyes I saw my heart it came to life
This ain't easy, it's not meant to be
Every story has its scars
But When the pain cuts you deep
When the night keeps you from sleeping
Just look and you will see
That I will be your remedy
When the world seems so cruel
And your heart makes you feel like a fool I promise you will see
That I will be I will be… your remedy-Adele
I wonder what King David wanted to be? Was his plan to become a businessman, a father, a musician? A violent world assaulted David. He faced impossible people and impassable politics with faith and an intimate tender love for God. I keep looking for that…thing…that truth which propelled David through the black hole of cruelty and scars. David's remedy for the pain of a son that hated him, a ruler who conspired his death, a wife that abandoned him, a heart that failed him, was the love of God. What did you want to be? What was your plan? Do you carry scars? Disappointment? Jesus is our remedy. He loves you, friends you with the giving of his own life on the cross. Remedies despair with resurrection and hope. Jesus is as close as your breath, He calls this transcendent truth the Holy Spirit, the breath of God. Confirm his friendship. Breathe in his presence. Jesus, redeemer of despair, He is my remedy.
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Day 47. 319 to go. The Heart. How many times does the heart, soul, qereb appear? What does it mean, the heart? PTSD and the heart.
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Day 48. 318 more days.
Jesus connects His crucifixion to Psalm 22. Read it slow. Reflect upon the cross of Jesus. We will spend some time on this Psalmatic, in the trauma, passage.
Psalm 22New International Version (NIV)
Psalm 22[a]
For the director of music. To the tune of “The Doe of the Morning.” A psalm of David.
1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from my cries of anguish?
2 My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
by night, but I find no rest.[b]
3 Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;
you are the one Israel praises.[c]
4 In you our ancestors put their trust;
they trusted and you delivered them.
5 To you they cried out and were saved;
in you they trusted and were not put to shame.
6 But I am a worm and not a man,
scorned by everyone, despised by the people.
7 All who see me mock me;
they hurl insults, shaking their heads.
8 “He trusts in the Lord,” they say,
“let the Lord rescue him.
Let him deliver him,
since he delights in him.”
9 Yet you brought me out of the womb;
you made me trust in you, even at my mother’s breast.
10 From birth I was cast on you;
from my mother’s womb you have been my God.
11 Do not be far from me,
for trouble is near
and there is no one to help.
12 Many bulls surround me;
strong bulls of Bashan encircle me.
13 Roaring lions that tear their prey
open their mouths wide against me.
14 I am poured out like water,
and all my bones are out of joint.
My heart has turned to wax;
it has melted within me.
15 My mouth[d] is dried up like a potsherd,
and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth;
you lay me in the dust of death.
16 Dogs surround me,
a pack of villains encircles me;
they pierce[e] my hands and my feet.
17 All my bones are on display;
people stare and gloat over me.
18 They divide my clothes among them
and cast lots for my garment.
19 But you, Lord, do not be far from me.
You are my strength; come quickly to help me.
20 Deliver me from the sword,
my precious life from the power of the dogs.
21 Rescue me from the mouth of the lions;
save me from the horns of the wild oxen.
22 I will declare your name to my people;
in the assembly I will praise you.
23 You who fear the Lord, praise him!
All you descendants of Jacob, honor him!
Revere him, all you descendants of Israel!
24 For he has not despised or scorned
the suffering of the afflicted one;
he has not hidden his face from him
but has listened to his cry for help.
25 From you comes the theme of my praise in the great assembly;
before those who fear you[f] I will fulfill my vows.
26 The poor will eat and be satisfied;
those who seek the Lord will praise him—
may your hearts live forever!
27 All the ends of the earth
will remember and turn to the Lord,
and all the families of the nations
will bow down before him,
28 for dominion belongs to the Lord
and he rules over the nations.
29 All the rich of the earth will feast and worship;
all who go down to the dust will kneel before him—
those who cannot keep themselves alive.
30 Posterity will serve him;
future generations will be told about the Lord.
31 They will proclaim his righteousness,
declaring to a people yet unborn:
He has done it!
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Day 49. 317 and then, no mas.
Look at Psalm 22 and note the traumas.
Forsaken, anguish, no answer no rest, worm, despised, scorned, mocked, predators prey, poured out like water, bones out of joint, heart is wax, mouth dry tongue sticks to roof of mouth, torture, humiliation, and public shame.
This is a heck of a day for King David. Now draw straight lines to Jesus. David and Jesus suffer similar tortures. Jesus uses David's story of trauma as His own.
Now, look at the character of God in our trauma.
” 24 For he has not despised or scorned
the suffering of the afflicted one;
he has not hidden his face from him
but has listened to his cry for help.”
God has not hidden his face from our pain. He listens to our cry. Our trauma connects to Jesus. Your hurt mingles with the pain and the hemorrhage of Jesus.
He listens. He is with you. Your pain neither disappears nor is scorned by God. This is a good thing.
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The OT word group for heart:
The NT word group for heart:
Summary
PTSD and pain stored in the heart
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Day 50. 316 more days.
Psalm 22. David questions God. Why abandon me? Why silent to my pain? Why no comfort in my agony? This Psalm is used in the crucifixion narrative of Jesus. When Jesus was crucified he rejected any anesthesia during the torture. Jesus took into his body the full measure of my sin. We call this atonement. Atonement is a made up word by Tynsdale the 16th century Bible translator because language had no equivalent. Atonement means, at-one-ment with God. We are reconnected, in relationship, loved, restored, made right by God through the pain and sacrifice of Jesus. Seems that pain is not only inevitable, pain is part of our transcendence from broken humanity to the image of God.
After David's honest questions in his trauma, David affirms the character of God.
You are enthroned. You are trustworthy. You brought me from the womb. You are my strength. You listen. You rescue.
David is content with the character of God in his pain. Character is the concrete one builds relationship on.
David loves the image of God. David connects to trust in God's heart, not to anesthesia. Seems as though character trumps pain in the mind of God. Or is pain the way of character?
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Day 51. 315 more days of Psalms.
6 verses of pure awesomeness. Name a Psalm more loved, cherished, recited than the 23rd?
A friend died of cancer recently. The last minutes of one's life are so precious and delicate. You want your pastor there, but you also feel a sense of protectiveness, the last heartbeat can be…difficult. The family called me. I arrived just after my dear friend breathed her last. The loving daughter had her arms around her mother's neck, the devoted husband sat in stunned silence. I stood like a statue. There are no awesome words in this kind of pain. Tread carefully. Do not infuse divine purpose statements to ease the awkwardness of death. So…I read…Psalm 23.
How beautiful the words of of King David. He was at the knife's edge of death so often. He felt the cut of betrayal and hatred by his closest family members. He smelled the heavy aroma of his heart hemorrhaging for his still born son. From David's hurt he writes.
“The Lord”.
David does not begin with his pain. He is not stuck in betrayal. The King's spiritual architecture is God.
“is”. Jesus is. He is the God who heals through pain and torture. His stripes mend our sorrows. God does not inflict our suffering, and neither does He waste it. God is.
“My shepherd”. Jesus calls Himself the shepherd. Jesus is the Lord. He leads, guides, gives his life for the sheep. Jesus will leave the 99 to seek the one errant animal, He seeks me when I am determined to be lost.
“I lack nothing.” The Hebrew is more clear in David's intent. I am content with the Shepherd in my pain. He knows my way of suffering. He is with me. We are ok.
“green meadows…rest…peaceful waters.” He is the God of resting those who follow Him. No neurotics here. Grateful followers of a spirituality that makes sense of the insanity and terror of this world.
“He revives my soul.” Again, the Hebrew text packs more power. By His power He resurrects me from the stench of death. No fear here.
“Honor”. The way of suffering is the journey of honor.
“Dark valley?…No fear. You. Are. With. Me.” This is all I need for my pain. All.
“Enemies? No problem.”
“Honor” is mentioned twice in this Psalm. Suffering with Him, brings honor, depth, integrity, love.
The way of trauma and pain is the river in which “goodness and mercy” flow every day of my life. I will “live” with Him. Forever.
She died with such grace and honor. Those who loved her the most saw her final breath, felt the last heart beat. She was ready for the Shepherd. Now, He revives her soul from the way of suffering.
Psalm 23
A psalm of David.
1 The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
2 He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
3 He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.
4 Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.
5 You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.
6 Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord
forever.
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Psalm 24
Of David. A psalm.
1 The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it,
the world, and all who live in it;
2 for he founded it on the seas
and established it on the waters.
3 Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord?
Who may stand in his holy place?
4 The one who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who does not trust in an idol
or swear by a false god.[a]
5 They will receive blessing from the Lord
and vindication from God their Savior.
6 Such is the generation of those who seek him,
who seek your face, God of Jacob.[b][c]
7 Lift up your heads, you gates;
be lifted up, you ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.
8 Who is this King of glory?
The Lord strong and mighty,
the Lord mighty in battle.
9 Lift up your heads, you gates;
lift them up, you ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.
10 Who is he, this King of glory?
The Lord Almighty—
he is the King of glory.
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Day 52. 314 more to go. King David writes the beloved 23rd Psalm under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. The blue collar laborer turned warrior poet guitar player now gives pure adrenalin in lyric. Check out Psalm 24. Life is not all tragedy, yes? My favorite motto is “life is hard, but God is good.” God is good. He owns it all. He created. Our God is holy. He makes a way for us to stand in His presence. God's presence in the way of suffering brings this heart rush of delight. He blesses us. We seek Him. Invite Jesus through the door of suffering and lift up your tilting head. He is The Lord Almighty, the King of glory.
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Day 53. 313 to go. David wrote the 25th Psalm in Hebrew acrostic. Each verse starts with a successive letter of the Hebrew alphabet. David writes poetry. He focuses on belief with great detail and diligence. Alexithymia is the inability to process words with our pain. Pain processes on the right side of the brain. We put words to our hurt on the left side of the prefrontal cortex. When we experience trauma, the right and left side of the brain fail to connect. We cannot speak of our pain. David writes poetry. He accesses the right hemisphere. He assigns a Hebrew letter to each verse. He puts words to his hurt. David's work is more than poetic. David helps us heal.
4 Show me the right path, O Lord;
point out the road for me to follow.
5 Lead me by your truth and teach me,
for you are the God who saves me.
All day long I put my hope in you.
6 Remember, O Lord, your compassion and unfailing love,
which you have shown from long ages past.
7 Do not remember the rebellious sins of my youth.
Remember me in the light of your unfailing love,
for you are merciful, O Lord.
David puts words to his pain. This meditation connects him to the unfailing love of God, the hope and mercy of God. Can you put words to your pain? Do you have the capacity for hope? Reflect on His love for you. Hope belongs to you today. Be compassionate to yourself. He loves you.
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Day 53. 313 to go. David wrote the 25th Psalm in Hebrew acrostic. Each verse starts with a successive letter of the Hebrew alphabet. David writes poetry. He focuses on belief with great detail and diligence. Alexithymia is the inability to process words with our pain. Pain processes on the right side of the brain. We put words to our hurt on the left side of the prefrontal cortex. When we experience trauma, the right and left side of the brain fail to connect. We cannot speak of our pain. David writes poetry. He accesses the right hemisphere. He assigns a Hebrew letter to each verse. He puts words to his hurt. David's work is more than poetic. David helps us heal.
4 Show me the right path, O Lord;
point out the road for me to follow.
5 Lead me by your truth and teach me,
for you are the God who saves me.
All day long I put my hope in you.
6 Remember, O Lord, your compassion and unfailing love,
which you have shown from long ages past.
7 Do not remember the rebellious sins of my youth.
Remember me in the light of your unfailing love,
for you are merciful, O Lord.
David puts words to his pain. This meditation connects him to the unfailing love of God, the hope and mercy of God. Can you put words to your pain? Do you have the capacity for hope? Reflect on His love for you. Hope belongs to you today. Be compassionate to yourself. He loves you.
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Day 54. 312 more days of transformation and…hope for our hurt.
Psalm 26
A psalm of David.
1 Declare me innocent, O Lord,
for I have acted with integrity;
I have trusted in the Lord without wavering.
2 Put me on trial, Lord, and cross-examine me.
Test my motives and my heart.
3 For I am always aware of your unfailing love,
and I have lived according to your truth.
4 I do not spend time with liars
or go along with hypocrites.
5 I hate the gatherings of those who do evil,
and I refuse to join in with the wicked.
6 I wash my hands to declare my innocence.
I come to your altar, O Lord,
7 singing a song of thanksgiving
and telling of all your wonders.
8 I love your sanctuary, Lord,
the place where your glorious presence dwells.
9 Don’t let me suffer the fate of sinners.
Don’t condemn me along with murderers.
10 Their hands are dirty with evil schemes,
and they constantly take bribes.
11 But I am not like that; I live with integrity.
So redeem me and show me mercy.
12 Now I stand on solid ground,
and I will publicly praise the Lord.
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David wishes transparency. Put me on trial, cross examine, test my…heart. The heart, leb in Hebrew, the seat of emotions, reason, and choosing. Truthfully I have taken issue with the Biblical understanding of heart. The heart pumps blood, period. The prefrontal cortex is the seat of processing emotion, reason, and volition. Until…this year. Studying the neuroscience of trauma. Great fun. Turns out the Bible is right…again. The enteric nervous system is comprised of 500 million neurons, brain cells, from the esophagus to the exit. The purpose is managing the digestive track. 50% of our dopamine and 90% of serotonin are found in the enteric nervous system, you know that place the Bible calls, the heart. When you hurt, feel deep love, are shocked don't you experience these feelings in your…heart? Enteric nervous system, the second brain. David asks God to examine his heart, emotions, pain, choices. He trusts the Lord with his…heart. Come into my heart, my pain, my story, dear Lord, redeem me, and show my heart mercy. I stand on the solid ground of your love and kindness, and I will publicly honor you. Have an awesome day of transparency with Him.
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Day 55. 313 more days until we finish this conversation. 13 days until we break 300.
Psalm 27New Living Translation (NLT)
Psalm 27
A psalm of David.
1 The Lord is my light and my salvation—
so why should I be afraid?
The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger,
so why should I tremble?
2 When evil people come to devour me,
when my enemies and foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
3 Though a mighty army surrounds me,
my heart will not be afraid.
Even if I am attacked,
I will remain confident.
4 The one thing I ask of the Lord—
the thing I seek most—
is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
delighting in the Lord’s perfections
and meditating in his Temple.
5 For he will conceal me there when troubles come;
he will hide me in his sanctuary.
He will place me out of reach on a high rock.
6 Then I will hold my head high
above my enemies who surround me.
At his sanctuary I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy,
singing and praising the Lord with music.
7 Hear me as I pray, O Lord.
Be merciful and answer me!
8 My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.”
And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”
9 Do not turn your back on me.
Do not reject your servant in anger.
You have always been my helper.
Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me,
O God of my salvation!
10 Even if my father and mother abandon me,
the Lord will hold me close.
11 Teach me how to live, O Lord.
Lead me along the right path,
for my enemies are waiting for me.
12 Do not let me fall into their hands.
For they accuse me of things I’ve never done;
with every breath they threaten me with violence.
13 Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness
while I am here in the land of the living.
14 Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.
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The Lord is…He exists. Belief is everything. Belief changes wrecked neurology. Came to believe a power greater than myself could restore…. Millions of heart sick folk have experienced the healing of Christ by…belief. What David believes is light and salvation, inner freedom from the black hole of selfish tyranny.
3 Though a mighty army surrounds me,
my heart will not be afraid.
Even if I am attacked,
I will remain confident.
4 The one thing I ask of the Lord—
the thing I seek most—
is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
delighting in the Lord’s perfections
and meditating in his Temple.
My heart will not be afraid. Beginning from infancy our experience in the world shapes fear networks in the brain, the heart. We respond to real and imagined fear in 50 milliseconds. Reinforce the networks with shame and guilt…fear dominate our lives. A thought becomes conscious in 500 milliseconds. The amygdala processes fear and safety in 50 milliseconds. Before a thought emerges fear networks have engaged 10 times. My heart will not be afraid. David responds to the constant threat of war, family shame and conspiracy with, '…my heart has heard you say, 'Come talk with me.' My heart responds, 'Lord, I am coming.'” David's fear finds refuge in intimate relationship with God. Intimacy and its belief in light and life rewires the brain. The power of connection with God changes us. All this begins with belief. Jesus is the light. Jesus is salvation. He brings freedom to the tyranny of wrecked neurology. Yes, wait patiently in the black hole…and believe.
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Day 57, 312 until the finish line.
Psalm 27
9 Do not turn your back on me.
Do not reject your servant in anger.
You have always been my helper.
Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me,
O God of my salvation!
10 Even if my father and mother abandon me,
the Lord will hold me close.
11 Teach me how to live, O Lord.
Lead me along the right path,
for my enemies are waiting for me.
12 Do not let me fall into their hands.
For they accuse me of things I’ve never done;
with every breath they threaten me with violence.
13 Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness
while I am here in the land of the living.
14 Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.
What is the singular truth that drives our pain? Can we put our finger in its pulse? Can we give hurt a name? If so, then is it not true that we can pray, meditate, and focus on the healing? So, what is it? Take 7 minutes and practice the meditation I have taught you. Put your pen on the paper and write for 7 minutes without break. Scribe all that comes from your heart. Fear, anxiety…what else? Do you see it? Abandonment. That is the kicker. David's great fear is that God will abandon the king shepherd guitar player. How about you? Who left you? That emptiness you sense, is it not the anxiety of someone leaving you? The top fear of students is the loss of a parent. Track your hurt to the source, someone left you. David says that, “The Lord holds him close.” God cannot abandon us, this act of betrayal is not within His character of love and mercy. Not only is God with us, He teaches how to live on the pathway of pain. We live in the light of His constant presence on the highway of suffering. He is with you. Jesus loves and understands your hurt. He is healing you, now. Take heart. Be brave and courageous. Wait patiently for Him. He is with you.
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Day 58. 311 more. Did you know a daily reflection for a year is a huge task? Holy smokes!
Psalm 28
A psalm of David.
1 I pray to you, O Lord, my rock.
Do not turn a deaf ear to me.
For if you are silent,
I might as well give up and die.
2 Listen to my prayer for mercy
as I cry out to you for help,
as I lift my hands toward your holy sanctuary.
3 Do not drag me away with the wicked—
with those who do evil—
those who speak friendly words to their neighbors
while planning evil in their hearts.
4 Give them the punishment they so richly deserve!
Measure it out in proportion to their wickedness.
Pay them back for all their evil deeds!
Give them a taste of what they have done to others.
5 They care nothing for what the Lord has done
or for what his hands have made.
So he will tear them down,
and they will never be rebuilt!
6 Praise the Lord!
For he has heard my cry for mercy.
7 The Lord is my strength and shield.
I trust him with all my heart.
He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.
I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.
8 The Lord gives his people strength.
He is a safe fortress for his anointed king.
9 Save your people!
Bless Israel, your special possession.[a]
Lead them like a shepherd,
and carry them in your arms forever.
The core of this Psalm emerges in vss. 7-8.
7 The Lord is my strength and shield.
I trust him with all my heart.
He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.
I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.
8 The Lord gives his people strength.
He is a safe fortress for his anointed king.
The Lord is. He exists. Our God transcends the bitterness and hurt of this world. He is other. God is holy. God cannot abuse you, betray you, falsehood cannot exist in the holy. He is my strength. I trust God with…here it comes…my heart. The heart, the leb, is where much of our pain is stored. David speaks strength to our hurt. God cares for the heart. My heart finds help. The word for help is ezer, savior. This vision David casts possesses power. God is transcendent over pain. He cares for my heart and touches the deepest part of you with strength and joy. My response? Gratitude. Thank you. Gratitude changes neurobiology. Fear networks reinforced by a painful world rewire with God's strength and our vision of gratitude. Hope is. Let Jesus have your whole heart. Now…can you be grateful?
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Day 59. Closer to 100 than ever before.
Psalm 29
A psalm of David.
1 Honor the Lord, you heavenly beings[a];
honor the Lord for his glory and strength.
2 Honor the Lord for the glory of his name.
Worship the Lord in the splendor of his holiness.
3 The voice of the Lord echoes above the sea.
The God of glory thunders.
The Lord thunders over the mighty sea.
4 The voice of the Lord is powerful;
the voice of the Lord is majestic.
5 The voice of the Lord splits the mighty cedars;
the Lord shatters the cedars of Lebanon.
6 He makes Lebanon’s mountains skip like a calf;
he makes Mount Hermon[b] leap like a young wild ox.
7 The voice of the Lord strikes
with bolts of lightning.
8 The voice of the Lord makes the barren wilderness quake;
the Lord shakes the wilderness of Kadesh.
9 The voice of the Lord twists mighty oaks[c]
and strips the forests bare.
In his Temple everyone shouts, “Glory!”
10 The Lord rules over the floodwaters.
The Lord reigns as king forever.
11 The Lord gives his people strength.
The Lord blesses them with peace.
What comes out of you when you hurt? Do you ever listen to your words, your voice? This is called mindfulness or meditation. Instead of me serially telling God how to run the universe and how I want Him to make me feel, I try to listen. What is He speaking? How is He working in your life? Who is Jesus in your next breath? Take your foot off the pedal for a moment. Listen to your breath and your heart as you read these words: The Lord is powerful, He is majestic, the Lord reigns over us, He is the giver of peace.
What comes out of you when you meditate on those words? David's response to the character, love, and power of God is…honor.
1 Honor the Lord, you heavenly beings[a];
honor the Lord for his glory and strength.
2 Honor the Lord for the glory of his name.
Worship the Lord in the splendor of his holiness.
David connects in meditation to the splendor of God's holiness. Holy means transcendent. He is not of the imperfections of this world. He is perfect, just, compassionate, mature, our Father, the Lord cannot abuse you. He is holy. The word David uses to communicate the transcendence of God is…honor. The Hebrew word kabod. It means heavy, weighty, awesome. David honors God. The way David speaks the name of the Lord is with reverence and love. Today, we honor Him.
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Day 60 of our journey together. Love this. 40 more days to 100. That will be something!
Psalm 30New Living Translation (NLT)
Psalm 30
A psalm of David. A song for the dedication of the Temple.
1 I will exalt you, Lord, for you rescued me.
You refused to let my enemies triumph over me.
2 O Lord my God, I cried to you for help,
and you restored my health.
3 You brought me up from the grave,[a] O Lord.
You kept me from falling into the pit of death.
4 Sing to the Lord, all you godly ones!
Praise his holy name.
5 For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime!
Weeping may last through the night,
but joy comes with the morning.
6 When I was prosperous, I said,
“Nothing can stop me now!”
7 Your favor, O Lord, made me as secure as a mountain.
Then you turned away from me, and I was shattered.
8 I cried out to you, O Lord.
I begged the Lord for mercy, saying,
9 “What will you gain if I die,
if I sink into the grave?
Can my dust praise you?
Can it tell of your faithfulness?
10 Hear me, Lord, and have mercy on me.
Help me, O Lord.”
11 You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,
12 that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!
King David was not perfect. His tarnished crown tilted, regularly. David's talent and gifting did not set him apart as a leader. David possessed the capacity to change his heart toward God and away from sin and self. Look at the negotiations of David with God. “What will you gain if I die? Can my dust praise you?” Are you obsessed with your imperfection? Does shame drive you? Jesus turns grief to gladness, your apparel? Joy. Tilt that tarnished crown back on your cranium. A changed heart sees God, not misguided fear of perfection.
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Day 61. So close to 100 I can feel it, ha.
Psalm 31
21 Praise the Lord,
for he has shown me the wonders of his unfailing love.
He kept me safe when my city was under attack.
22 In panic I cried out,
“I am cut off from the Lord!”
But you heard my cry for mercy
and answered my call for help.
23 Love the Lord, all you godly ones!
For the Lord protects those who are loyal to him,
but he harshly punishes the arrogant.
24 So be strong and courageous,
all you who put your hope in the Lord!
Neural architecture. Fear networks. Joy. Hope. Belief.
King David lived under constant pressure of death and terror. In this passage he reflects on historical narrative of war and crisis. Isis is the last four letters of crisis. If David felt the threat of hostility and terror as we do, I understand the king's angst about his attackers.
David's thinking, worship, love for the Lord wired in very positive directions. When discouraged, I can lose resolve, hope, and despair grips me, leads me. Fear networks in the brain cover vast territory touching sights, sounds, emotions, and bodily sensations. Overwhelmed is a great word. Look where David's heart redirects in the midst of fear and terror. Unfailing love, protection…hope. Belief changes us. Neural architecture rewires in the presence of unfailing love and…hope. Jesus is so kind…he says, “come to me and rest… In this world you will have trouble, but rejoice, I have overcome the world.” This is why I worship…Him. His unfailing love rewires my fear with courage, strength…and hope.
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Day 62. Psalm 32.
Psalm 32New Living Translation (NLT)
Psalm 32
A psalm[a] of David.
1
Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight!
2
Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt,[b] whose lives are lived in complete honesty!
3
When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long.
4
Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. Interlude
5
Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone. Interlude
6
Therefore, let all the godly pray to you while there is still time, that they may not drown in the floodwaters of judgment.
7
For you are my hiding place; you protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory. Interlude
8
The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.
9
Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.”
10
Many sorrows come to the wicked, but unfailing love surrounds those who trust the Lord.
11
So rejoice in the Lord and be glad, all you who obey him! Shout for joy, all you whose hearts are pure!
Belief changes the structure of neural architecture. David believes in joy, honesty, and the unfailing love of God. This belief transformed his pain into perseverance.
Look at David’s words. His joy comes from the richness of his higher power’s ability to remove guilt from David. This is why I follow Jesus. He receives the trauma of my pain and guilt upon Himself on the cross. What remains is…joy, delight, contentment.
What is your pain? Where has your trauma brought you in relationships? What do you believe?
Today. I believe in joy. As I write, I trust Him to forgive. Unfailing love surrounds…me. Joy.
References: To date, several studies have examined biological abnormalities in maltreated children and adults maltreated as children (Bevans, Cerbone, & Overstreet, 2008; Curtis & Cicchetti, 2007; De Bellis et al., 2002; Ito, Teicher, Glod, & Ackerman, 1998; Ito, Teicher, Glod, & Harper, 1993; King, Mandansky, King, Fletcher, & Brewer, 2001; Linares et al., 2008; Taylor, Eisenberger, Saxbe, Lehman, & Lieberman, 2006; Tupler & De Bellis, 2006; Weems & Carrion, 2007). De Bellis et al. (2002) found decreased volume in the corpus callosum, prefrontal cortices, and temporal lobe and increased volume in the superior temporal gyrus in maltreated children with PTSD as opposed to those without PTSD.
Considering victimization more broadly, parental verbal abuse has been found to be associated with reduced integrity of neural integrity (white matter tract anisotropy) in young adulthood (Choi, Jeong, Rohan, Polcari, & Teicher, 2009). Harsh corporal punishment has been found to be associated with reduced gray matter volumes in the medial and dorsolateral prefrontal cortices and anterior cingulate (Tomoda, Suzuki, et al., 2009).
Teicher et al. (2006) found that either parental verbal abuse or witnessing domestic violence, and particularly their combination, was as strongly or more strongly associated with emotional dysregulation consistent with malfunction of the limbic system and problems with depression, anxiety, and hostility than incest or extrafamilial childhood sexual abuse.
American Journal of Orthopsychiatry 2012 American Orthopsychiatric Association 2012, Vol. 82, No. 2, 187–200 DOI: 10.1111/j.1939-0025.2012.01154.x
Understanding Interpersonal Trauma in Children: Why We Need a Developmentally Appropriate Trauma Diagnosis Wendy D’Andrea The New School Julian Ford University of Connecticut Bradley Stolbach La Rabida Children’s Hospital Joseph Spinazzola and Bessel A. van der Kolk
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Day 63. Psalm 63.
My comments on Psalm 63 appear in the (parentheses.)
Psalm 63New International Version (NIV)
Psalm 63
A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.
1
You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water.
(King David is not speaking with symbolism. He literally thirsts. David has the ability to connect his pain to his relationship with God. No cursing here. No gnarly attitude toward God because of David’s suffering.)
2
I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.
(David loved the ritual of worship. The Psalms are his narrative of ritual. Rituals are vital for people who suffer. Rituals create order and bring soothing in chaos. What are your rituals? What are you teaching your family about rituals in traumatic events?)
3
Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.
(The love of God is superior. Better than living is the life I live with you, Oh Lord. Trauma’s impact can be lessened by deep relationships after the painful event. David’s sanity through the attempted murders, persecution, and betrayal by his own son, was nurtured by the presence and love of God. Note how David connects to God in the thirst.)
4
I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands.
5
I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
6
On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night.
(Ahhhh…now he’s talking my language. One of the symptoms of trauma is sleeplessness. Anxiety pumps adrenalin. Adrenalin is not a good sleep agent. David remembers and focuses on relationship with God in the sleeplessness of his pain.)
7
Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
(David senses both presence and protection from God.)
8
I cling to you; your right hand upholds me.
(I hold onto the Lord in the night watch of sleeplessness and worry.)
9
Those who want to kill me will be destroyed; they will go down to the depths of the earth.
10
They will be given over to the sword and become food for jackals.
11
But the king will rejoice in God; all who swear by God will glory in him, while the mouths of liars will be silenced.
(Have you been hurt? Do not do life alone. Pursue strength in a group of loving people. Connect to your therapist. Seek the Lord. Your pain will lose its power in connection with healthy people who love God. Hope. Is.)
Trauma disorders represent a unique form of psychopathology; they cannot occur without exposure to an event(s). However, exposure is a necessary, but not sufficient criterion for the development of trauma-related disorders. “There is recent recognition that the larger family context in which children live and the amount of family support they receive following trauma can be a powerful mediator between trauma and negative outcomes (Banyard, Rozelle, & Englund, 2001, p. 74).
Researchers theorize that maintenance of rituals has healthy consequences for families, especially for children and, to date, have generated strong empirical evidence for this hypothesis. Studies clearly demonstrate that the constructive use of family rituals is reliably linked to family health and to psychosocial adjustment in children. Initial investigation of the potential mediating role of family rituals was with alcoholic families. In a series of studies, Wolin and Bennett found couples deliberate in planning their family’s ritual life and who then successfully followed through on those plans evidenced significantly less transmission of alcoholism into their family than couples who were not as deliberate (Bennett et al., 1988a; Wolin, Bennett, & Noonan, 1979). Deliberateness also included keeping rituals distinct from the alcohol abuse behavior. Furthermore, regardless of the presence of alcoholism in the family, children living in families low on deliberateness showed more behavior problems than children from highly deliberate families (Bennett et al., 1988a; Bennett, Wolin, & Reiss, 1988b). Several studies (Fiese, 1992; Hawkins, 1999) replicated these early findings.
”Protecting children from the dangers of urban poverty ☆ Laurel J. Kiser ⁎ University of Maryland at Baltimore, Division of Services Research, 737 West Lombard Street, Fifth Floor, Baltimore, MD 21201, United States Received 25 January 2005; received in revised form 1 May 2006; accepted 12 July 2006
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