Jesus was single, celibate, and without abuse scandal. This is why Jesus frames the spirituality I love.

The compassion of Christ has healed the trauma of billions of people for millennia. One piece you will not see in the narrative of Christ is abuse. Why was there not a culture of abuse toward women in Jesus’ leadership as we see in modern Evangelical politics?

Let’s go through the list of current cultures of abuse: My mentor Bill Hybels was forced to retire along with the resignation of his successor pastor and entire Elder board because of mishandled sexual misconduct allegations. Rob Coy, pastor of the largest Chuck Smith Church in North America resigned amid allegations of grooming a child for sex, genital sexual affair, and pornography. 5000 clergy have been identified as sexual predators.  The most recent sexual misconduct disclosure targets Baptist clergy.

When abuse takes place, culture must be addressed. A dominant who has power over submissives manipulates for sexual gratification.  The dom which means (Lord) creates a culture of bondage for the submissive so that she cannot seek safety.  Bill Hybels allegedly seduced staff behind closed doors. The victims did not disclose for years due to the power and popularity of celebrity status.  Rob Coy allegedly groomed a child for sex; “How can a successful man of God with so many Sunday attendees prey on a child?  Impossible, we say.”  A priest committed to celibacy swims with children and fondles them. He succeeds because the parents of the victims assure the children that he is “safe” and he represents God when administering the sacraments. Abuse takes place in a culture of power; the dominant forces himself over the submissive victim.  In fact, may I suggest that the current religious overtones of the dominant submissive relationship between men and women of faith does not come from Scripture but from the pornography industry? The primary teacher of male female boundaries is not the church, it’s the porn culture normalized among Christian leadership.

Jesus served in humility until his voluntary death. He gave His life to be the payment for the violence of mankind. He taught that true leadership serves others, takes its place at the end of the line and allows others to “be first.”  Jesus took on the form of a slave and humbled himself.  He did not fight for position, he surrendered to the power of God.  Women felt safe with him. He lived with humble healthy boundaries for both women, men, and children.

Let’s look at some specifics about the culture of humility Jesus created in the first century.

Leaders are not celebrities in Jesus’ mind but rather servants guiding from the back of the line giving their lives for the people they love.

Specifically, leadership in marriage will look like a husband who sacrifices himself for his wife as Jesus gave himself to the cross of humiliation.

Jesus appointed women to lead and gave them speaking and teaching roles in the church.

Jesus’ chosen celibacy demonstrates his honorable relationship with women.

Jesus died a martyr’s death and his final words were not revenge but care for his mother.

Jesus calls himself the bridegroom, and the church his bride. These images carry healthy sexual overtones and Jesus never exploits the church he loves.

Let’s look at a broader view of the Biblical idea that God does not put women in a place of bondage and abuse.

In Genesis Adam and Eve live in healthy relationship with each other and God. There is no suggestion that the first couple in a state of wholeness are anything other than mutual and consensual. When sin enters, the balance shifts to the dominant and submissive model of relationship.  In a state of defiance and alienation from God a culture of power differential emerges and the abuse narrative in Scripture begins.

Jesus transforms this paradigm. He inspires Paul the Apostle, to state that there are no dominants or submissives in the Church only those who are one in Christ.

Deborah the Judge leads, teaches, and judges men.  Clearly God did not intend for her to be a submissive in a dom culture lording over women.

Mary the mother of Jesus takes a supreme role in the birth of the Messiah. She is given all the honor due one of such status.

The Scripture in 1 Timothy 2 prohibiting women to teach is one of the tragic mistranslations which has abused women for millennia.  Women are not prohibited to teach in the church.

Women held office in the first century church. Phoebe, female, was a Deacon, the masculine term for a church officer.

Time to stop abusing women using the porn industry as a model to force women into positions of submission for the abuse of the perpetrator, yes?

May I suggest some healthy conversation?

What if we follow Jesus rather than the porn addict politics of domination and submission? All are one in Christ.

Jesus redeems the story of abuse by not only his compassion toward women, but his enduring boundaries of honor and respect.

Check out these passages:

Galatians 3:28

²⁸ There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 2: Imitating Christ’s Humility

2 Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ² then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. ³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴ not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

⁵ In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

 

Matthew 20: A Mother’s Request

²⁰ Then the mother of Zebedee’s sons came to Jesus with her sons and, kneeling down, asked a favor of him.

²¹ “What is it you want?” he asked.

She said, “Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom.”

²² “You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said to them. “Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?”

“We can,” they answered.

²³ Jesus said to them, “You will indeed drink from my cup,but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared by my Father.”

²⁴ When the ten heard about this, they were indignant with the two brothers. ²⁵ Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. ²⁶ Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, ²⁷ and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— ²⁸ just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Ephesians 5

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing^[b] her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body.³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”^[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

1 Timothy 2:11

¹² I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man;^[b] she must be quiet.

The operative word in this passage misguiding generations is the word, “assume authority over a man.”  The Greek word is authentein. It appears only once on the Scriptures and is formed from two Greek words, autos and thanatos, which mean self murdering.  Have you seen the character Thanos in the Marvel series?  This is the root for his name. Thanos means death and embodies a nihilistic narcissism to destroy half of mankind. Paul is not prohibiting women to teach, he is mandating that women not destroy in the process of teaching. Paul then uses the illustration of Eve’s seduction of Adam and how that teaching event went sideways for all mankind. Eve jacked up Adam in a dom sub relationship. Don’t be like Eve. The word quiet means more on the order of kind rather than “keep your mouth shut” kind of silence.

Romans 16: Personal Greetings

16 I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a deacon of the church in Cenchreae.

Colossians 3: Living as Those Made Alive in Christ

3 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. ² Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. ³ For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.⁴ When Christ, who is your^[a] life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

⁵ Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality,impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. ⁶ Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.^[b] 7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. ⁸ But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. ⁹ Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices ¹⁰ and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. ¹¹ Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all,and is in all.

¹² Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ¹³ Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴ And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

¹⁵ Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. ¹⁶ Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. ¹⁷ And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanksto God the Father through him.

Instructions for Christian Households

¹⁸ Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

¹⁹ Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

²⁰ Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

²¹ Fathers,^[c] do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

²² Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.²³ Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, ²⁴ since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. ²⁵ Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism.

1 Corinthians 14

²⁹ Two or three prophets should speak, and the others should weigh carefully what is said. ³⁰ And if a revelation comes to someone who is sitting down, the first speaker should stop. ³¹ For you can all prophesy in turn so that everyone may be instructed and encouraged. ³² The spirits of prophets are subject to the control of prophets.³³ For God is not a God of disorder but of peace—as in all the congregations of the Lord’s people.

³⁴ Women^[f] should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says. ³⁵ If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.^[g]

³⁶ Or did the word of God originate with you? Or are you the only people it has reached? ³⁷ If anyone thinks they are a prophet or otherwise gifted by the Spirit, let them acknowledge that what I am writing to you is the Lord’s command. ³⁸ But if anyone ignores this, they will themselves be ignored.^[h]

³⁹ Therefore, my brothers and sisters, be eager to prophesy, and do not forbid speaking in tongues. ⁴⁰ But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way.

1 Corinthians 11

11 ¹ Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.

On Covering the Head in Worship

² I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the traditions just as I passed them on to you. ³ But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man,^[a] and the head of Christ is God. ⁴ Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head. ⁵ But every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head—it is the same as having her head shaved.

The context of this passage is Paul correcting the Corinthians for disorderly worship in their house churches. Men sat at the front of the room, women sat in the back.  Paul addresses the entire congregation when he gives them directions about orderly address in the congregation. Both men and women are praying and prophesying in the worship gathering. The context and flow indicate all were participating, speaking in tongues, praying, and prophesying. Why then, the parenthetical about women and silence?  One Sunday morning I was preaching in the inner city war zone church. The young moms sat in the back of the auditorium near the nursery. The purpose for their seating location was easy exit in the event of an infant meltdown or diaper blowout. During the teaching, I heard a great furor in the back row. The young moms were passing their babies down the row, laughing, and carrying on. Apparently one of the children was being super cute. I could not help but think of Paul…”Ladies, please…calm down…keep down the noise…can you finish this riotous conversation during a coffee or lunch?”

 

God has always honored and encouraged gifted leadership in women. He does today.